Chapter 52 – Is that? (Jacquie’s POV) *Wednesday afternoon*

“Man our boss is being really nice to us” Tahlia say “It’s weird”

“You can hardly call giving a 5% discount off all music for employees an act of being really nice” I say “I mean at Big W it's 10% off everything”

“Well its better then nothing” Mel says “We got a couple of freebies this week too”

“Cool, what did you get?” I ask.

Mel passes me some CDs from her bag.

“Black Effect? Ransom Holder? The Cheap Drink?” I ask confused at the weird names of bands I had never heard of “Pisspots? Reggy Carlo and The Thompsons? That one sounds like a really old band”

“It is … and they aren’t that much good either” Mel sighs “Meh better then nothing”

“Tahlia did you get much?” I ask.

“Yeah, there is a good one too” she replies, “I’ll put them on now”

She walks to our little stereo and puts in a CD and turns it on.

“The first track is just a music thing” Tahlia say clicking a button “It’s pretty good but the actual songs are really good, so yeah skip the first one”

The intro starts and it’s just a guitar and builds with drums until the singer starts singing. That voice sounded awfully familiar.

“This band is very new and this CD was released like this week” Tahlia goes on “The album name keeps escaping my memory it’s long”

She picks up the CD and reads off it.

“I Bought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love” she says

I walk over to her.

“Is that?” I ask “What’s the band name?”

“Didn’t I say the band name?” she asks.

“Obviously not” I say.

“Oh sorry, I forgot” she says “My Chemical Romance”

“Are you serious?” I ask surprised.

“Yeah must do some research on these people” she says “They are really good”

“How much are they selling this for?” I ask.

“Twenty” Tahlia replies “Why?”

“I kn…” I say but stop myself.

Maybe it was best not say.

“It should be like thirty, they are so good” I say “But I think I might get myself a copy too”

“I can share my copy with you” Tahlia says.

“Nah I want my own, you know for, like, my car” I say.

“I might get my own copy too” Mel says passing me a coke “They are really good”

“Yeah” I say with a smile.

We sit down and listen to the whole CD. All I can say is wow, it was great, no more then great, AWESOME!

I look at the clock 5.45pm.

“I’m gonna call someone” I say.

“And tell them about this band?” Mel jokes.

“Oh totally” I say, they didn’t realize how true it was.

I take the phone and go into my room.

I call Gerard’s home number.

It rings a couple of times.

“Hello” Mikey says.

“Why hello young Mikey” I reply.

“Heya Jacquie” he says.

“May I just say I listened to a great album today” I say “I thought I might pass it on to you rock fans”

“And it is?” Mikey asks.

“I Bought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by umm who are they? I don’t know” I say.

“You listened to it?” Mikey asked “How did you get a copy only a couple shops bought it?”

“And one of those shops happened to be one that employs my friends” I say.

“Okay, so umm what you think of it?” he asks.

“Fucken awesome” I say “Loved every second”

“Cools” I say “I need to ask a question that’s been troubling me and Gerard”

“Umm sure” is say.

“Okay last time we called a guy answered who was it?” he asks.

“Umm Andrew?” I say.

“Okay” Mikey replies “Anything you want to tell us?”

“Ahh I see what your getting at, No me and Andrew aren’t together again, he was just upset, a couple of his family issues, I was helping him” I reply.

“Okay, Just asking” Mikey replies “Guessing you want to talk to Gerard too?”

“Sure” I say.

The line goes slack for a bit and then Gerard speaks.

“Hello Jacquie” he says.

“Hiya” I say.

“How are you?” he ask.

“I’m good” I say “Great album”

“I hope you're not being sarcastic” he says.

“Hell no, I love it” I say “Fuck you sound amazing”

“Thanks” he says.

“Everyone sounds awesome” I say.

“Yeah, have a favourite track yet?” he asks.

“It’s a tie between Cubicles and Demolition Lovers” I say.

“Yeah” he say “ I can’t believe within only a couple of months of being a band we have an album out”

“I know” I say “Its fricken awesome”

“So what did your friends think?” he asks.

“They think it rocks” I say.

“What did they say when you told them you knew us?” he asks.

“I didn’t tell them” I say cautiously.

“Why?” he asks surprised.

“Well, I don’t know how they will react” I say.

“You're not ashamed are you?” he asks.

“Hell no, I would love to tell them but, its complicated you know they might you know crush over you guys” I say.

“Umm okay” he says.

“I gotta go start making dinner, it’s my turn again” I say.

“Okay, talk to you later” he says.

“Bye Gee” I say happily.

“Bye Jacquie” he says.

I hang up and go put the phone back.

“Who did you talk to?” Mel asks.

“My mum” I say quickly.

“How is she?” she asks.

“Good” I say.

“How about Mark?” she asks.

“He is fine too, can you excuse me? I have to make us dinner” I say getting a little peed off.

“Geez someone’s pissy” she says.

“Shut up” I say jokingly.

“Gosh your moods are unpredictable” Mel says “By the way, you called Andrew right?”

“Not yet” I say “I’ll call him after dinner”

“Nah, I wanna do it” she says, “He is my brother, I should help him out too”

“Sure, just make sure you say hi from me” I say.

“Jacquie” Mel says.

“Yeah” I ask.

“Thanks a lot, seriously” she says with a smile.

“No problem” I say.

Chapter 51 – Sleep well? (Jacquie’s POV)

Next Day (Morning)

“Sleep well?” comes a cheery voice.

“Yeah” I say and sit up off the couch and see Andrew sitting right at the end “Did you?”

“Yeah, Thanks” he says with a smile “Your bed is very cosy”

“Yeah” I say and smile.

“Why didn’t you go into Mel or Tahlia’s room and sleep there?” he asks.

“Their beds are too cushy for me” I reply.

“Ahh you should have told me I would've slept on Mels” he says.

“Invasion of little sister’s privacy” I say “and I think Tahlia would bite your head off if you were in hers”

He laughs.

“True” he replies.

“Today’s Sunday aye?” I ask.

“Yeah” he replies.

“Want to catch a movie?” I ask.

“Yeah” he says, “I guess, just like old times”

“You’re paying” I say with a smile.

“Yep definitely just like old times” he says with a laugh.

Morning (New Jersey)… (Mikey POV)

I shuffle into the kitchen and begin to make a coffee for both Gerard and I. I rub my eyes and look at the calendar and see that today was the day eyeball records was going to release our album. I smile today was bound to be a good day I finish making the coffees and take one into Gerard who was still sleeping.

“Gerard” I say.

He turns over and looks at me with a big smile on his face, it was like an insane clown.

“Umm Gerard are you okay?” I ask.

He jumps up and kisses me on the cheek and takes the coffee from me and drinks it down and goes into the kitchen.

“Random” I say aloud.

I go into the kitchen and get my coffee.

“I’m guessing you’re in a happy mood?” I ask leaning against the counter sipping my coffee slowly.

“Yep” he says getting out his Frankenberry cereal and pouring it into a bowl “Today is the day our album is released”

“Yes it is,” I say “But it doesn’t make us rock stars”

“Well duh” he says “I’m just happy its out in the open”

“You make it sound as if it’s a fart,” I say with a laugh.

“Well … I did fart” he replies pouring milk over the cereal laughing.

He gets out a spoon and goes into the living room where I follow him.

“That was wrong,” I say.

“Well sorry” he says, “Couldn’t help it”

He begins eating the cereal.

I smile and a thought pops into my head that was most certainly going to annoy my brother.

“So have you called Jacquie yet?” I ask with a devious smile.

He stops and swallows what he was eating then looks at me.

“Why did you bring her up?” he asks.

“Cause she seems to learn everything so quickly” I say.

“I haven’t talked to her since September 11” he replies.

“Pfft hello Christmas and New Years” I say.

“I said hello and stuff, not a proper talk” he says.

“Emails” I say still smiling.

“Last email was like ages ago” he says obviously starting to get pissed.

“Really?” I ask.

“Yes” he says.

“Prove it dear brother of mine” I say.

He gets up and slams the bowl of cereal on the coffee table making it spill a bit. He grabs my arm and pulls me to his room He turns on his computer and clears stuff away. It takes the computer a while to load and then connect to the internet but eventually it does and Gerard signs in. He clicks rapidly till he opens an email dated 2 months ago from Jacquie.

“See mother fucker” he says angrily.

“2 months is hardly ages ago” I say “3 months is though”

I smile, I was being such a smart ass.

“Look at it how can you call that a email?” he asks, “All it says is Hi, How are you? What have you been up to? And still she didn’t reply”

“She didn’t reply?” I ask slightly surprised.

“No she didn’t” he says closing the screen and turning off the computer.

“That’s not like her Gerard” I say “She was probably busy”

“Or just forgetting me” he says getting up and leaving the room.

“Dude” I say rolling my eyes and following him.

He sits down and finishes his cereal and then takes it back into he kitchen placing it in the sink.

“Come on we will call her later okay” I say.

“Why?” he asks.

“To tell her about the album” I say.

“And why would she wanna know about that?” Gerard asks.

“Umm because we are her friends” I say

“I bet she doesn’t care anymore” he says “I mean it’s been like 6 years since we saw her”

“And I bet you she does care but she has been busy” I say.

“Okay how much?” Gerard asks.

“50” I say.

“Fine” he says.

We shake hands.

Boy, I hope I was right I don’t have $50 on me.

5.30pm… (New Jersey) (Gerard’s POV)

“Gerard the time is now” Mikey says.

“She’s not gonna answer” I reply.

“Just call” he says.

I pick up the phone and call her.

The phone rings a couple of times and then I think I’m gonna win but then the phone is answered.

“Hello” A guy answers.

“Hi, umm is Jacquie there?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah” he says “I’m guessing you wanna talk to her?”

“Umm yeah” I reply.

“And whom may you be?” he asks.

“Gerard” I say.

“Okays” he says.

Finally a familiar voice comes over the line.

“Hi” Jacquie says.

“Hiya” I reply.

“Gerard?” she asks.

“Yep, the one and only” I say.

“Heya, Gosh how are you?” she says.

“I’m fine” I reply “And you?”

Mikey nudges me.

“I’m fine thanks” she says “Why the call? Anything up?”

“Umm well our first album was released” I say.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yeah, apparently in Australia and the UK its released today, but its probably very rare you're gonna get it, I heard only a couple shops ended up buying them in Aus” I say.

“I will get a copy one way or another” she says “Wow, in only like a couple of months”

“Yeah, Wanna talk to Mikey?” I ask.

Mikey shakes his head, and says quietly “I don’t have much to say”.

“Sure” Jacquie replies.

I hand the phone to Mikey.

Mikey gives me the thanks a lot look.

Mikey takes the phone from me and leaves me in the room while he goes into his.

He never liked people being able to hear him talking to others for some reason.

I shrugged and went and sat on the couch.

A couple of minutes later Mikey reappears and puts the phone back.

“She says bye” Mikey says with a smile “She had to drive a friend home”

“Did she say who?” I ask.

“Nah” Mikey says sitting next to me.

“Some guy answered the phone” I say.

“Probably was the friend then” he says.

“Or boyfriend” I say.

“Possibly, but last thing I heard she didn’t have one” he says.

“Well it has been a couple of months and we haven’t asked” I say.

“True” Mikey replies “Guess we are gonna have to sit back and wait till the next time we call”

Chapter 50 – Dream on *10am in the morning*(Jacquie’s POV)

I look out of the big glass windows of our apartment that were from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the floor. I cup my hands around my hot coffee I had poured not too long ago and watch as the rain fell down on the city. Even when it rained around here it was beautiful. The lights of all the buildings were on when it rained, due to the clouds blocking out the sunlight. Our house was positioned perfectly to see the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the city around us. I sip my coffee and continue looking as I recall Andrew’s wedding in my mind.

It was beautiful. Even though I disliked Anna West immensely before, she was really nice. It seems that leaving school changed her. Well I’m not sure if she was being nice because I was a friend of Andrew’s, but I didn’t mind as long as Andrew was happy. She wore a beautiful white wedding dress with a white bouquet of lilies, her favourite flower. Her long blonde hair was in a bun and all tied back off her porcelain skin, her complexion brought out her bright green eyes beautifully and she wore red lipstick which made her skin seem even lighter. Andrew wore a plain black tuxedo and combed his jet-black hair back. I wasn’t a brides maid, of course not, but Anna West had not chosen any of her friends from school, none of them, all the girls she had chosen were completely opposite to the girls she hung out with back then. They were nice, normal and very intelligent girls. Andrew’s Best man was of course Jared. The wedding didn’t run into any problems and was one of the nicest I had seen or been to. Andrew and Anna went to Paris for their honeymoon and had gotten back a month ago. They had a great time, and now were planning to move to Queensland and were hoping they could move very soon.

Anna had called Mel two weeks ago with some special news. When Mel got off the phone she was delighted and couldn’t stop smiling, Tahlia got her to spill the beans. Anna was three months pregnant. I was so happy for the couple, their life was going so great. But two days ago we got another phone call but from Andrew I was the only one home so I had to take the call. Andrew had told me that Anna had a fall at work and it caused the baby to die in Anna’s stomach. Andrew could hardly hold himself together on the phone, he was crying and then coughing because he was crying so much. He had told me that since he had found out he hadn’t been able to sleep and spent most the time crying and feeling bad that he wasn’t able to help Anna. Anna was at her mother’s because she couldn’t stand being in the house were they lived, too many memories I guess. Andrew said now he would try even harder getting a place in Queensland so they could start anew. When Melissa got home I had to tell her the news. Her face went very pale and she began to cry, I had too look after her till Tahlia got home then I told Tahlia. Tahlia was a quite tough person, and I could tell she was upset but she knew if she cried she would make Mel worse so Tahlia began to look after Mel and I had to go get ready for work.

I now worked as a secretary for a solicitor’s office. I didn’t enjoy this job that much, but it was better then my other jobs. Tahlia and Mel worked in a music shop in the heart of the city, they got international music most of which I had never heard of but a lot of it was good. Their job to me was way better then mine and much easier, but both of them reassured me it was still quite difficult.

“Jacquie, its Saturday, you should be sleeping” a sleepy Mel says behind me.

“I don’t feel like sleeping” I reply.

“Okay, would you like me to cook you some breakfast?” she asks.

“I have a coffee” I reply.

“That’s not breakfast, that’s a drink,” she says.

“It’s breakfast for me” I reply.

“Okay, well I’m cooking breakfast for me and Tahlia, if you want some ask now” she says shuffling into the kitchen.

“Do you mind if I go see your brother?” I ask.

“You can if you want, but be aware he is in a bad state,” she says.

“I know” I say finishing my coffee and putting it in the kitchen sink.

“By the way hun” Mel says “Me and Tahlia are going to a old friend of ours in Newcastle, so we are going to be away till Monday night remember?”

“Yeah” I say, “Well, I forgot but now I remember”

“You can come if you want, but you don’t know her, it might be awkward for you” she says.

“Nah its okay, I’ll be fine here,” I say.

I walk into my bedroom and get out some plain black jeans and a shirt and then some underwear. I go and have a shower and get changed then I put on some plain white socks and a pair of converse shoes. I put on a plain black hoodie and grab my keys.

“I’ll see you guys later” I call out to Tahlia and Mel.

“Bye” Tahlia says.

“See ya on Monday” Mel says.

I close the door behind me, go down the stairs and get into my car. I drive in the rain, through the city and go to Andrews'.

Andrews'…

I pull up out the front of Andrews'. I quickly walk to his letterbox and get out the mail that obviously hadn’t been collected for a couple of days. I make a dash up to the door as the rain begins to pour down.

I knock on the door, no reply.

“Andrew” I call out.

I turn the door handle and go inside. Unlocked, but I’m guessing he doesn’t particularly care at this moment in time.

The lights were all off making the house really dark and eerie. I turn on the hallway lights and place the mail on the table beside the door. I take my hoodie off and put it on the coat stand also beside the door. I walk through the hallway looking at the pictures on the wall of Andrew and Anna and also of them with friends and family, one catches my eyes and it is of Andrew, Mel, Tahlia, Jared and Me. I smile when I see it as I remember when it was taken. It was a New Years Party a couple of years ago, it had been a great party too. I look at the one next to it taken the same day of Mel and Andrew. The next one was of Jared and Andrew, I continue looking and see one of Anna and Andrew in Paris I smile at their smiling faces. I enter the living room and see the living room is a mess with bottles of beer and bottles of spirits scattered around. Tissues were discarded everywhere and on the couch a picture of Anna and Andrew on their wedding day. It was a beautiful picture too. I’m guessing I would have to clean this all up for Andrew. I walk into the kitchen and only two dirty plates and an empty pizza box. I’m guessing he hasn’t been that hungry Next, I walk through to the bedrooms. Andrew and Anna’s bedroom was closed. I knock on it and hear the bed move slightly.

“Can I come in?” I ask.

“Yes” came a weak reply.

I open the door and see Andrew sitting on the bed. He smiles weakly, obviously somewhat grateful I had come. He was shirtless, only wearing his boxers, He had a bad case of bed hair and his eyes were red and puffy. I walk over to him and sit on the bed next to him.

I look at him and he bites his lip and his eyes begin to well up with tears. I hug him tightly as he begins to cry. He sobs into my shoulder, he was obviously trying not to.

“It’s okay,” I say rubbing his back “Let it out”

and with that he began to cry louder, I squeezed him tighter.

His skin was cold.

“Have you had any sleep yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head against my shoulder.

“You don’t want to sleep do you?” I ask.

He shakes his head again.

“Believe me you need it” I say “You will feel better after it, not completely better, but you will relax a bit because you're really tense”

“I don’t want to sleep” he says quietly.

“But you need to” I say.

He nods.

“I can’t sleep here though” he says “Not on this bed”

I help him up.

“Where do you want to sleep?” I ask.

“I don’t want to be in this house” he says.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” I ask.

“Sure” he says with a feeble smile “I’ll just get some clothes”.

“Okay” I reply.

I leave the room and close the door. I grab the small white bin from the kitchen and begin putting the bottles and tissues in I put the bin back in the kitchen and put the empty pizza box in it too. I go back into the living room and put the picture back on the table, I sigh looking at the picture.

“From that to this” I say quietly.

I hear quiet crying.

I walk back to the bedroom and knock on the door.

The crying gets a little louder I open the door and see Andrew on the ground holding a women’s shirt, it was obviously Anna’s.

I sit next to him and hug him.

I should have realised they shared a closet.

“Do you want me to get you some clothes?” I ask.

He pulls out the hug and nods.

I get up and so does he and sits on the bed.

I offer my hand to him and he passes me the shirt.

I put it on a coat hanger and put it in the closet.

I pull out a plain black shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and show them to him.

He nods and takes them from me.

I close the closet then leave the room closing the door after me letting him get changed.

I go sit on the couch in the living room and wait for him.

It takes him about five minutes and he is out. He had brushed his hair, put his clothes on and put shoes on. He grabs his keys off the kitchen bench and puts them in his back pocket of his jeans then he looks around and sees that I have tidied up a bit.

“Thanks” he says coming over to me.

“No problem” I say.

We walk through the hallway, I watch him as he avoids gazing at the pictures before his happiness was crushed by a small but deadly fall. I grab my hoodie and pass him a jacket from the coat stand. We leave the house and he locks the door It’s still raining, and we walk to my car quickly, and promptly I start the engine.

“Seriously Jacquie, Thank you” he says.

“It’s alright, hey what are friends for?” I say.

He smiles and we drive off.

Andrew looks out of the passenger window. Sighing every so often. I turn on the radio and It’s halfway through the song English Summer Rain by Placebo.

My place…

I park my car, and we get out and walk up the stairs. I get out my keys and open the door, I let Andrew go through first and I follow him closing the door behind myself.

“Mel and Tahlia not here?” he asks.

“Yeah, they have gone to Newcastle, they will be back Monday night” I say.

“Oh Okay, good” he replies.

“Why good?” I ask.

“Mel would probably bring … stuff up” he says.

“Maybe” I say “Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Can I have a coffee?” he asks.

“We are trying to get you to fall asleep, not keep you up” I say.

“True” he says with a small smile “But I like coffee more”

“Okay two teas it is” I say “Go sit on the couch, I’ll bring it over to you”

He goes and walks to the couch and sits on it.

“Feel free to watch TV” I say.

I put the kettle on and get out two cups placing a tea bag in each of them, I then put a sugar in both them. I wait till the water boils and pour it into the cups then I go and get the milk from the fridge. I take out the tea bags and dispose of them in the bin and then place some milk in both cups. I stir them with a teaspoon and take both cups out into the living room. I pass one to Andrew and keep the other for myself. We sit there in silence sipping our tea.

“You don’t mind if I look out the window do you?” I ask.

“It’s your place” he says.

I smile and get up and sit on the floor by the window looking out over the city. Andrew gets up and sits next to me.

“Is this how you pass time?” he asks.

“Kind of” I say, “It calms me down”

“The city… calming?” he asks.

“Well … no, just … look isn’t it pretty though?” I say.

“Yeah” he says, “I guess”

I roll my eyes.

“I remember when Jared and I used to do that and you got angry at us” he says.

“Yeah, but that was because you did it constantly” I say.

“True” he says and rolls his eyes.

I giggle.

“Man, I haven’t heard you giggle in yonks” he says.

“And I haven’t heard you say yonks in forever” I say.

He smiles and I smile back.

Chapter 49 – A Bit Of Honesty Is Needed *A couple of Months later*(Gerard’s POV)

At a recording studio (Band and Frank)…

“Okay, This is going to be difficult to say” Brian says.

(Brian = Manager)

“Well a bit of honesty is needed” I say.

“You guys are all over the place” Brian says “It’s crazy in a good way but also in a bad-ish way”

“So you're saying we need to focus more?” I ask confused.

“Well kind of” Brian says.

“You guys come in quick and beat everything out and its … a tad … a bit… sloppy” Frank says.

“How do you think we should fix it?” Mikey asks.

“Well you need like another … type of rhythm, like not just Matt who keeps the beat you need someone who can also give it rhythm” Brian says.

“So I have to try and give more rhythm?” Ray asks.

“Well no, that would be too hard you would have to do not only solos but then add like … okay too hard to explain, you're going to have to get another member” Brian says.

“But, where are we going to get one?” I ask.

Frank smiles.

“But you’re in a band” I say.

“Well no, we broke up, it got kind of.. on difficult terms” Frank says.

“Would you like to join Frank?” I ask.

“Hmmm” Frank says doing a funny thinking pose “Go from my cosy couch to rocking on stage with my favourite band?”

I smile.

“Well it’s a very hard decision and I choose to …” Frank says with a huge smile “Rock on”

“Awesome” Mikey says.

“Oh hell yeah” I reply.

“Okay one problem solved, another one pops up” Brian says, “You have to learn all the songs”

“Learn? I pretty much have, but yeah I think I might need a bit of practice” Frank says.

“Well obvious we can’t start recording till you know them and can incorporate them into the song” Brian says.

“Yep, shouldn’t be long with these amazing musicians” Frank says.

“You weren’t being sarcastic right?” Ray asks.

“Of course not” he says with a smile.

We get up from our seats and get into my car.

“Radio on” Mikey says putting it on.

And just out luck Zero by Smashing Pumpkins is on.

Well all sing along to the radio till we arrive at mine and Mikey’s place.

“So things are looking up for us,” Mikey says as I open the door and let everyone one in.

“Looks like it Mikes” I say.

I smile to myself and close the door behind me.