Chapter 53 – Whispers Turn To Silence (Jacquie’s POV) *4 weeks later*

"That fucking mole" Mel says angrily whilst crying, "She knew he was fragile still"
Tahlia hugs her tightly.
A huge wave of anger and sadness had swept over me from the minute Mel told us what had happened.
Anna had left Andrew. She had said the reason was she just didn’t feel happy with him anymore after the accident, he of course took this to heart and thought he had done something really wrong. Which he hadn’t, and tried all he could to get her back but had finally given up when Anna had her older brother tell Andrew to leave her alone, which left him with a cut to his lip and a couple of bruises. Andrew felt horrible and hit the bottle hard, he of course never planned on drinking himself so sick he was admitted to hospital with alcohol poisoning.
Mel cried into Tahlia’s shoulder profanities about Anna.
The doctors said Andrew had only a fifty-fifty chance of living. Mel was dreading the fact she would now have to tell her mother about why he had alcohol poisoning, they knew all about Anna and her accident but not that she was away from Andrew after it, and that she had left him. I was biting my lip not wanting to cry. Tahlia looked at me her eyes were welled up with tears too but she had to be strong for Mel. I wasn’t a strong person really, emotions always got the better of me.
"I’m going to go for a drive" I say but it was like a whisper.
Tahlia nodded and gave me a weak smile.
I walked to the side table got my keys and left the room went down the stairs and out of the building. I got into my car, Tahlia knew where I was going.
Hospital…
I get out of the car and walk across the car park then through the hospital doors and to the receptionists desk.
"Can I please be directed to Andrew?" I ask the receptionist, whispering almost fully in tears.
"Andrew who?" The male receptionist asks.
"Andrew Hyde" I whisper wiping my eyes madly.
"I’m sorry, he can’t be seen for at least 4 hours" He says sympathetically.
"Okay" I whisper again and point to a seat "I’m going to sit in that seat right there, the second I can see him please show me where he is"
"I will" he says with a smile.
I bite my lip walking over to the seat and sitting down. I sit in silence, waiting till finally the receptionist will come and get me. I look up and stare into the almost blinding hospital lights, I begin reminiscing about times we all shared together. All the summers and winters, partying and chilling, most were when we were younger because we were teens and wild back then, well compared to now. I sigh and look at the ground. The tears flow freely but in total silence all you could hear is the sounds of the hospital and the seemingly loud ticking of the overhead clock.
5 Hours Later…
I feel a tap on my shoulder.
I flicker my eyes open and see the male receptionist.
"I’m sorry to wake you up, but Andrew is okay to see now" he says .
I get to my feet and hug him. He smiles and sort of brushes me away then shows me the way to Andrew’s room.
I see a very white faced Andrew siting in a hospital bed adjacent to me, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He was hooked up to only one machine, so I was guessing that they had finished with all the hard stuff and were now just watching how he was going. His hair had a wet look about it and seemed to be almost plastered to his face. He looks down at his hands. I walk slowly over to him. I was about two steps away from him and he turned his head slightly and sees me. I must have looked terrible, I had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair in a pair of grey track pants, a plain black top and a pair of old sneakers. Not only that but my eyes must have been red raw. The look he gave me told me that he didn’t care. I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly, he slowly brings his arms around me and hugs me back then utters the word "sorry" so quietly it could almost have been mistaken as the wind.

Chapter 52 – Is that? (Jacquie’s POV) *Wednesday afternoon*

“Man our boss is being really nice to us” Tahlia say “It’s weird”

“You can hardly call giving a 5% discount off all music for employees an act of being really nice” I say “I mean at Big W it's 10% off everything”

“Well its better then nothing” Mel says “We got a couple of freebies this week too”

“Cool, what did you get?” I ask.

Mel passes me some CDs from her bag.

“Black Effect? Ransom Holder? The Cheap Drink?” I ask confused at the weird names of bands I had never heard of “Pisspots? Reggy Carlo and The Thompsons? That one sounds like a really old band”

“It is … and they aren’t that much good either” Mel sighs “Meh better then nothing”

“Tahlia did you get much?” I ask.

“Yeah, there is a good one too” she replies, “I’ll put them on now”

She walks to our little stereo and puts in a CD and turns it on.

“The first track is just a music thing” Tahlia say clicking a button “It’s pretty good but the actual songs are really good, so yeah skip the first one”

The intro starts and it’s just a guitar and builds with drums until the singer starts singing. That voice sounded awfully familiar.

“This band is very new and this CD was released like this week” Tahlia goes on “The album name keeps escaping my memory it’s long”

She picks up the CD and reads off it.

“I Bought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love” she says

I walk over to her.

“Is that?” I ask “What’s the band name?”

“Didn’t I say the band name?” she asks.

“Obviously not” I say.

“Oh sorry, I forgot” she says “My Chemical Romance”

“Are you serious?” I ask surprised.

“Yeah must do some research on these people” she says “They are really good”

“How much are they selling this for?” I ask.

“Twenty” Tahlia replies “Why?”

“I kn…” I say but stop myself.

Maybe it was best not say.

“It should be like thirty, they are so good” I say “But I think I might get myself a copy too”

“I can share my copy with you” Tahlia says.

“Nah I want my own, you know for, like, my car” I say.

“I might get my own copy too” Mel says passing me a coke “They are really good”

“Yeah” I say with a smile.

We sit down and listen to the whole CD. All I can say is wow, it was great, no more then great, AWESOME!

I look at the clock 5.45pm.

“I’m gonna call someone” I say.

“And tell them about this band?” Mel jokes.

“Oh totally” I say, they didn’t realize how true it was.

I take the phone and go into my room.

I call Gerard’s home number.

It rings a couple of times.

“Hello” Mikey says.

“Why hello young Mikey” I reply.

“Heya Jacquie” he says.

“May I just say I listened to a great album today” I say “I thought I might pass it on to you rock fans”

“And it is?” Mikey asks.

“I Bought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by umm who are they? I don’t know” I say.

“You listened to it?” Mikey asked “How did you get a copy only a couple shops bought it?”

“And one of those shops happened to be one that employs my friends” I say.

“Okay, so umm what you think of it?” he asks.

“Fucken awesome” I say “Loved every second”

“Cools” I say “I need to ask a question that’s been troubling me and Gerard”

“Umm sure” is say.

“Okay last time we called a guy answered who was it?” he asks.

“Umm Andrew?” I say.

“Okay” Mikey replies “Anything you want to tell us?”

“Ahh I see what your getting at, No me and Andrew aren’t together again, he was just upset, a couple of his family issues, I was helping him” I reply.

“Okay, Just asking” Mikey replies “Guessing you want to talk to Gerard too?”

“Sure” I say.

The line goes slack for a bit and then Gerard speaks.

“Hello Jacquie” he says.

“Hiya” I say.

“How are you?” he ask.

“I’m good” I say “Great album”

“I hope you're not being sarcastic” he says.

“Hell no, I love it” I say “Fuck you sound amazing”

“Thanks” he says.

“Everyone sounds awesome” I say.

“Yeah, have a favourite track yet?” he asks.

“It’s a tie between Cubicles and Demolition Lovers” I say.

“Yeah” he say “ I can’t believe within only a couple of months of being a band we have an album out”

“I know” I say “Its fricken awesome”

“So what did your friends think?” he asks.

“They think it rocks” I say.

“What did they say when you told them you knew us?” he asks.

“I didn’t tell them” I say cautiously.

“Why?” he asks surprised.

“Well, I don’t know how they will react” I say.

“You're not ashamed are you?” he asks.

“Hell no, I would love to tell them but, its complicated you know they might you know crush over you guys” I say.

“Umm okay” he says.

“I gotta go start making dinner, it’s my turn again” I say.

“Okay, talk to you later” he says.

“Bye Gee” I say happily.

“Bye Jacquie” he says.

I hang up and go put the phone back.

“Who did you talk to?” Mel asks.

“My mum” I say quickly.

“How is she?” she asks.

“Good” I say.

“How about Mark?” she asks.

“He is fine too, can you excuse me? I have to make us dinner” I say getting a little peed off.

“Geez someone’s pissy” she says.

“Shut up” I say jokingly.

“Gosh your moods are unpredictable” Mel says “By the way, you called Andrew right?”

“Not yet” I say “I’ll call him after dinner”

“Nah, I wanna do it” she says, “He is my brother, I should help him out too”

“Sure, just make sure you say hi from me” I say.

“Jacquie” Mel says.

“Yeah” I ask.

“Thanks a lot, seriously” she says with a smile.

“No problem” I say.

Chapter 51 – Sleep well? (Jacquie’s POV)

Next Day (Morning)

“Sleep well?” comes a cheery voice.

“Yeah” I say and sit up off the couch and see Andrew sitting right at the end “Did you?”

“Yeah, Thanks” he says with a smile “Your bed is very cosy”

“Yeah” I say and smile.

“Why didn’t you go into Mel or Tahlia’s room and sleep there?” he asks.

“Their beds are too cushy for me” I reply.

“Ahh you should have told me I would've slept on Mels” he says.

“Invasion of little sister’s privacy” I say “and I think Tahlia would bite your head off if you were in hers”

He laughs.

“True” he replies.

“Today’s Sunday aye?” I ask.

“Yeah” he replies.

“Want to catch a movie?” I ask.

“Yeah” he says, “I guess, just like old times”

“You’re paying” I say with a smile.

“Yep definitely just like old times” he says with a laugh.

Morning (New Jersey)… (Mikey POV)

I shuffle into the kitchen and begin to make a coffee for both Gerard and I. I rub my eyes and look at the calendar and see that today was the day eyeball records was going to release our album. I smile today was bound to be a good day I finish making the coffees and take one into Gerard who was still sleeping.

“Gerard” I say.

He turns over and looks at me with a big smile on his face, it was like an insane clown.

“Umm Gerard are you okay?” I ask.

He jumps up and kisses me on the cheek and takes the coffee from me and drinks it down and goes into the kitchen.

“Random” I say aloud.

I go into the kitchen and get my coffee.

“I’m guessing you’re in a happy mood?” I ask leaning against the counter sipping my coffee slowly.

“Yep” he says getting out his Frankenberry cereal and pouring it into a bowl “Today is the day our album is released”

“Yes it is,” I say “But it doesn’t make us rock stars”

“Well duh” he says “I’m just happy its out in the open”

“You make it sound as if it’s a fart,” I say with a laugh.

“Well … I did fart” he replies pouring milk over the cereal laughing.

He gets out a spoon and goes into the living room where I follow him.

“That was wrong,” I say.

“Well sorry” he says, “Couldn’t help it”

He begins eating the cereal.

I smile and a thought pops into my head that was most certainly going to annoy my brother.

“So have you called Jacquie yet?” I ask with a devious smile.

He stops and swallows what he was eating then looks at me.

“Why did you bring her up?” he asks.

“Cause she seems to learn everything so quickly” I say.

“I haven’t talked to her since September 11” he replies.

“Pfft hello Christmas and New Years” I say.

“I said hello and stuff, not a proper talk” he says.

“Emails” I say still smiling.

“Last email was like ages ago” he says obviously starting to get pissed.

“Really?” I ask.

“Yes” he says.

“Prove it dear brother of mine” I say.

He gets up and slams the bowl of cereal on the coffee table making it spill a bit. He grabs my arm and pulls me to his room He turns on his computer and clears stuff away. It takes the computer a while to load and then connect to the internet but eventually it does and Gerard signs in. He clicks rapidly till he opens an email dated 2 months ago from Jacquie.

“See mother fucker” he says angrily.

“2 months is hardly ages ago” I say “3 months is though”

I smile, I was being such a smart ass.

“Look at it how can you call that a email?” he asks, “All it says is Hi, How are you? What have you been up to? And still she didn’t reply”

“She didn’t reply?” I ask slightly surprised.

“No she didn’t” he says closing the screen and turning off the computer.

“That’s not like her Gerard” I say “She was probably busy”

“Or just forgetting me” he says getting up and leaving the room.

“Dude” I say rolling my eyes and following him.

He sits down and finishes his cereal and then takes it back into he kitchen placing it in the sink.

“Come on we will call her later okay” I say.

“Why?” he asks.

“To tell her about the album” I say.

“And why would she wanna know about that?” Gerard asks.

“Umm because we are her friends” I say

“I bet she doesn’t care anymore” he says “I mean it’s been like 6 years since we saw her”

“And I bet you she does care but she has been busy” I say.

“Okay how much?” Gerard asks.

“50” I say.

“Fine” he says.

We shake hands.

Boy, I hope I was right I don’t have $50 on me.

5.30pm… (New Jersey) (Gerard’s POV)

“Gerard the time is now” Mikey says.

“She’s not gonna answer” I reply.

“Just call” he says.

I pick up the phone and call her.

The phone rings a couple of times and then I think I’m gonna win but then the phone is answered.

“Hello” A guy answers.

“Hi, umm is Jacquie there?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah” he says “I’m guessing you wanna talk to her?”

“Umm yeah” I reply.

“And whom may you be?” he asks.

“Gerard” I say.

“Okays” he says.

Finally a familiar voice comes over the line.

“Hi” Jacquie says.

“Hiya” I reply.

“Gerard?” she asks.

“Yep, the one and only” I say.

“Heya, Gosh how are you?” she says.

“I’m fine” I reply “And you?”

Mikey nudges me.

“I’m fine thanks” she says “Why the call? Anything up?”

“Umm well our first album was released” I say.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yeah, apparently in Australia and the UK its released today, but its probably very rare you're gonna get it, I heard only a couple shops ended up buying them in Aus” I say.

“I will get a copy one way or another” she says “Wow, in only like a couple of months”

“Yeah, Wanna talk to Mikey?” I ask.

Mikey shakes his head, and says quietly “I don’t have much to say”.

“Sure” Jacquie replies.

I hand the phone to Mikey.

Mikey gives me the thanks a lot look.

Mikey takes the phone from me and leaves me in the room while he goes into his.

He never liked people being able to hear him talking to others for some reason.

I shrugged and went and sat on the couch.

A couple of minutes later Mikey reappears and puts the phone back.

“She says bye” Mikey says with a smile “She had to drive a friend home”

“Did she say who?” I ask.

“Nah” Mikey says sitting next to me.

“Some guy answered the phone” I say.

“Probably was the friend then” he says.

“Or boyfriend” I say.

“Possibly, but last thing I heard she didn’t have one” he says.

“Well it has been a couple of months and we haven’t asked” I say.

“True” Mikey replies “Guess we are gonna have to sit back and wait till the next time we call”

Chapter 50 – Dream on *10am in the morning*(Jacquie’s POV)

I look out of the big glass windows of our apartment that were from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the floor. I cup my hands around my hot coffee I had poured not too long ago and watch as the rain fell down on the city. Even when it rained around here it was beautiful. The lights of all the buildings were on when it rained, due to the clouds blocking out the sunlight. Our house was positioned perfectly to see the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the city around us. I sip my coffee and continue looking as I recall Andrew’s wedding in my mind.

It was beautiful. Even though I disliked Anna West immensely before, she was really nice. It seems that leaving school changed her. Well I’m not sure if she was being nice because I was a friend of Andrew’s, but I didn’t mind as long as Andrew was happy. She wore a beautiful white wedding dress with a white bouquet of lilies, her favourite flower. Her long blonde hair was in a bun and all tied back off her porcelain skin, her complexion brought out her bright green eyes beautifully and she wore red lipstick which made her skin seem even lighter. Andrew wore a plain black tuxedo and combed his jet-black hair back. I wasn’t a brides maid, of course not, but Anna West had not chosen any of her friends from school, none of them, all the girls she had chosen were completely opposite to the girls she hung out with back then. They were nice, normal and very intelligent girls. Andrew’s Best man was of course Jared. The wedding didn’t run into any problems and was one of the nicest I had seen or been to. Andrew and Anna went to Paris for their honeymoon and had gotten back a month ago. They had a great time, and now were planning to move to Queensland and were hoping they could move very soon.

Anna had called Mel two weeks ago with some special news. When Mel got off the phone she was delighted and couldn’t stop smiling, Tahlia got her to spill the beans. Anna was three months pregnant. I was so happy for the couple, their life was going so great. But two days ago we got another phone call but from Andrew I was the only one home so I had to take the call. Andrew had told me that Anna had a fall at work and it caused the baby to die in Anna’s stomach. Andrew could hardly hold himself together on the phone, he was crying and then coughing because he was crying so much. He had told me that since he had found out he hadn’t been able to sleep and spent most the time crying and feeling bad that he wasn’t able to help Anna. Anna was at her mother’s because she couldn’t stand being in the house were they lived, too many memories I guess. Andrew said now he would try even harder getting a place in Queensland so they could start anew. When Melissa got home I had to tell her the news. Her face went very pale and she began to cry, I had too look after her till Tahlia got home then I told Tahlia. Tahlia was a quite tough person, and I could tell she was upset but she knew if she cried she would make Mel worse so Tahlia began to look after Mel and I had to go get ready for work.

I now worked as a secretary for a solicitor’s office. I didn’t enjoy this job that much, but it was better then my other jobs. Tahlia and Mel worked in a music shop in the heart of the city, they got international music most of which I had never heard of but a lot of it was good. Their job to me was way better then mine and much easier, but both of them reassured me it was still quite difficult.

“Jacquie, its Saturday, you should be sleeping” a sleepy Mel says behind me.

“I don’t feel like sleeping” I reply.

“Okay, would you like me to cook you some breakfast?” she asks.

“I have a coffee” I reply.

“That’s not breakfast, that’s a drink,” she says.

“It’s breakfast for me” I reply.

“Okay, well I’m cooking breakfast for me and Tahlia, if you want some ask now” she says shuffling into the kitchen.

“Do you mind if I go see your brother?” I ask.

“You can if you want, but be aware he is in a bad state,” she says.

“I know” I say finishing my coffee and putting it in the kitchen sink.

“By the way hun” Mel says “Me and Tahlia are going to a old friend of ours in Newcastle, so we are going to be away till Monday night remember?”

“Yeah” I say, “Well, I forgot but now I remember”

“You can come if you want, but you don’t know her, it might be awkward for you” she says.

“Nah its okay, I’ll be fine here,” I say.

I walk into my bedroom and get out some plain black jeans and a shirt and then some underwear. I go and have a shower and get changed then I put on some plain white socks and a pair of converse shoes. I put on a plain black hoodie and grab my keys.

“I’ll see you guys later” I call out to Tahlia and Mel.

“Bye” Tahlia says.

“See ya on Monday” Mel says.

I close the door behind me, go down the stairs and get into my car. I drive in the rain, through the city and go to Andrews'.

Andrews'…

I pull up out the front of Andrews'. I quickly walk to his letterbox and get out the mail that obviously hadn’t been collected for a couple of days. I make a dash up to the door as the rain begins to pour down.

I knock on the door, no reply.

“Andrew” I call out.

I turn the door handle and go inside. Unlocked, but I’m guessing he doesn’t particularly care at this moment in time.

The lights were all off making the house really dark and eerie. I turn on the hallway lights and place the mail on the table beside the door. I take my hoodie off and put it on the coat stand also beside the door. I walk through the hallway looking at the pictures on the wall of Andrew and Anna and also of them with friends and family, one catches my eyes and it is of Andrew, Mel, Tahlia, Jared and Me. I smile when I see it as I remember when it was taken. It was a New Years Party a couple of years ago, it had been a great party too. I look at the one next to it taken the same day of Mel and Andrew. The next one was of Jared and Andrew, I continue looking and see one of Anna and Andrew in Paris I smile at their smiling faces. I enter the living room and see the living room is a mess with bottles of beer and bottles of spirits scattered around. Tissues were discarded everywhere and on the couch a picture of Anna and Andrew on their wedding day. It was a beautiful picture too. I’m guessing I would have to clean this all up for Andrew. I walk into the kitchen and only two dirty plates and an empty pizza box. I’m guessing he hasn’t been that hungry Next, I walk through to the bedrooms. Andrew and Anna’s bedroom was closed. I knock on it and hear the bed move slightly.

“Can I come in?” I ask.

“Yes” came a weak reply.

I open the door and see Andrew sitting on the bed. He smiles weakly, obviously somewhat grateful I had come. He was shirtless, only wearing his boxers, He had a bad case of bed hair and his eyes were red and puffy. I walk over to him and sit on the bed next to him.

I look at him and he bites his lip and his eyes begin to well up with tears. I hug him tightly as he begins to cry. He sobs into my shoulder, he was obviously trying not to.

“It’s okay,” I say rubbing his back “Let it out”

and with that he began to cry louder, I squeezed him tighter.

His skin was cold.

“Have you had any sleep yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head against my shoulder.

“You don’t want to sleep do you?” I ask.

He shakes his head again.

“Believe me you need it” I say “You will feel better after it, not completely better, but you will relax a bit because you're really tense”

“I don’t want to sleep” he says quietly.

“But you need to” I say.

He nods.

“I can’t sleep here though” he says “Not on this bed”

I help him up.

“Where do you want to sleep?” I ask.

“I don’t want to be in this house” he says.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” I ask.

“Sure” he says with a feeble smile “I’ll just get some clothes”.

“Okay” I reply.

I leave the room and close the door. I grab the small white bin from the kitchen and begin putting the bottles and tissues in I put the bin back in the kitchen and put the empty pizza box in it too. I go back into the living room and put the picture back on the table, I sigh looking at the picture.

“From that to this” I say quietly.

I hear quiet crying.

I walk back to the bedroom and knock on the door.

The crying gets a little louder I open the door and see Andrew on the ground holding a women’s shirt, it was obviously Anna’s.

I sit next to him and hug him.

I should have realised they shared a closet.

“Do you want me to get you some clothes?” I ask.

He pulls out the hug and nods.

I get up and so does he and sits on the bed.

I offer my hand to him and he passes me the shirt.

I put it on a coat hanger and put it in the closet.

I pull out a plain black shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and show them to him.

He nods and takes them from me.

I close the closet then leave the room closing the door after me letting him get changed.

I go sit on the couch in the living room and wait for him.

It takes him about five minutes and he is out. He had brushed his hair, put his clothes on and put shoes on. He grabs his keys off the kitchen bench and puts them in his back pocket of his jeans then he looks around and sees that I have tidied up a bit.

“Thanks” he says coming over to me.

“No problem” I say.

We walk through the hallway, I watch him as he avoids gazing at the pictures before his happiness was crushed by a small but deadly fall. I grab my hoodie and pass him a jacket from the coat stand. We leave the house and he locks the door It’s still raining, and we walk to my car quickly, and promptly I start the engine.

“Seriously Jacquie, Thank you” he says.

“It’s alright, hey what are friends for?” I say.

He smiles and we drive off.

Andrew looks out of the passenger window. Sighing every so often. I turn on the radio and It’s halfway through the song English Summer Rain by Placebo.

My place…

I park my car, and we get out and walk up the stairs. I get out my keys and open the door, I let Andrew go through first and I follow him closing the door behind myself.

“Mel and Tahlia not here?” he asks.

“Yeah, they have gone to Newcastle, they will be back Monday night” I say.

“Oh Okay, good” he replies.

“Why good?” I ask.

“Mel would probably bring … stuff up” he says.

“Maybe” I say “Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Can I have a coffee?” he asks.

“We are trying to get you to fall asleep, not keep you up” I say.

“True” he says with a small smile “But I like coffee more”

“Okay two teas it is” I say “Go sit on the couch, I’ll bring it over to you”

He goes and walks to the couch and sits on it.

“Feel free to watch TV” I say.

I put the kettle on and get out two cups placing a tea bag in each of them, I then put a sugar in both them. I wait till the water boils and pour it into the cups then I go and get the milk from the fridge. I take out the tea bags and dispose of them in the bin and then place some milk in both cups. I stir them with a teaspoon and take both cups out into the living room. I pass one to Andrew and keep the other for myself. We sit there in silence sipping our tea.

“You don’t mind if I look out the window do you?” I ask.

“It’s your place” he says.

I smile and get up and sit on the floor by the window looking out over the city. Andrew gets up and sits next to me.

“Is this how you pass time?” he asks.

“Kind of” I say, “It calms me down”

“The city… calming?” he asks.

“Well … no, just … look isn’t it pretty though?” I say.

“Yeah” he says, “I guess”

I roll my eyes.

“I remember when Jared and I used to do that and you got angry at us” he says.

“Yeah, but that was because you did it constantly” I say.

“True” he says and rolls his eyes.

I giggle.

“Man, I haven’t heard you giggle in yonks” he says.

“And I haven’t heard you say yonks in forever” I say.

He smiles and I smile back.

Chapter 49 – A Bit Of Honesty Is Needed *A couple of Months later*(Gerard’s POV)

At a recording studio (Band and Frank)…

“Okay, This is going to be difficult to say” Brian says.

(Brian = Manager)

“Well a bit of honesty is needed” I say.

“You guys are all over the place” Brian says “It’s crazy in a good way but also in a bad-ish way”

“So you're saying we need to focus more?” I ask confused.

“Well kind of” Brian says.

“You guys come in quick and beat everything out and its … a tad … a bit… sloppy” Frank says.

“How do you think we should fix it?” Mikey asks.

“Well you need like another … type of rhythm, like not just Matt who keeps the beat you need someone who can also give it rhythm” Brian says.

“So I have to try and give more rhythm?” Ray asks.

“Well no, that would be too hard you would have to do not only solos but then add like … okay too hard to explain, you're going to have to get another member” Brian says.

“But, where are we going to get one?” I ask.

Frank smiles.

“But you’re in a band” I say.

“Well no, we broke up, it got kind of.. on difficult terms” Frank says.

“Would you like to join Frank?” I ask.

“Hmmm” Frank says doing a funny thinking pose “Go from my cosy couch to rocking on stage with my favourite band?”

I smile.

“Well it’s a very hard decision and I choose to …” Frank says with a huge smile “Rock on”

“Awesome” Mikey says.

“Oh hell yeah” I reply.

“Okay one problem solved, another one pops up” Brian says, “You have to learn all the songs”

“Learn? I pretty much have, but yeah I think I might need a bit of practice” Frank says.

“Well obvious we can’t start recording till you know them and can incorporate them into the song” Brian says.

“Yep, shouldn’t be long with these amazing musicians” Frank says.

“You weren’t being sarcastic right?” Ray asks.

“Of course not” he says with a smile.

We get up from our seats and get into my car.

“Radio on” Mikey says putting it on.

And just out luck Zero by Smashing Pumpkins is on.

Well all sing along to the radio till we arrive at mine and Mikey’s place.

“So things are looking up for us,” Mikey says as I open the door and let everyone one in.

“Looks like it Mikes” I say.

I smile to myself and close the door behind me.

Chapter 48 – Totally Kick Ass *Wednesday* (Frank’s POV)

At The 21st Party (With the band backstage)…

“So you guys ready?” I ask.

“Totally” Mikey says.

“I need another drink” Gerard says and gets another beer.

“You might ease up if you didn’t drink” Mikey says to him.

“This way is easier” Gerard replies.

“Make sure you keep hydrated Gerard okay” I say.

“Yeah, I shall” he says.

“Okay you're on now” I say.

Gerard quickly finishes the beer and they walk out and get ready to play.

Gerard does a quick intro and Matt counts them in with the clicking of his drumsticks together.

I watch on as they play starting off with Skylines and Turnstiles. I listen to Gerard’s voice, every word he sang was full of meaning and worth, Every note Ray was playing was correct. Mikey always thought he was just background but the notes coming from his bass guitar gave the music edge and depth. Matt kept the beat perfect, because if he didn’t the whole band might go out of time.

I get tapped on the shoulder and jump.

“Yo” Brett says (Guy who is turning 21)

“Hi” I say.

“Who are those guys?” he asks.

“Didn’t you hear Gerard?” I say, “That’s My Chemical Romance”

“One song, and most of the crowd are thinking they are totally kick ass” he says.

“Yeah, I think they are too” I say and turn a bit watching Gerard getting the crowd more and more motivated by the second.

“I thought you and your band were gonna play” he says.

“Well I thought I would give these guys a try” I say “Sorry I didn’t tell you, Just you might say no, and yeah”

“Nah dude these guys are just as awesome as yours” he says.

I smile.

“Well a guy from Eyeball Records is here” he says “You never know maybe he might like these guys and they get in”

“Awesome, Gerard shall be very pleased when he hears that” I say “They have had a couple of offers but they weren’t very good record companies, I was gonna ask eyeball records soon anyways”

After the gig…

“You guys were awesomely great” I say to them “According to the birthday boy most of the crowd thought you were totally kick ass”

“Awesome” Mikey says.

“Oh yeah and birthday boy told me something else too” I say.

“What?” They all ask at once.

I smile at them.

“A guy from Eyeball Records is here” I say “And you guys might have a chance”

“Are you serious?” Gerard asks.

“Oh hell yeah he is” Comes a voice behind me.

The guy walks up to us.

“Would you like to be signed to Eyeball Records?” he asks.

Gerard is nearly stunned.

“I think that’s a yes?” the guy asks.

Mikey nudges Gerard.

“Yes, yes that would be great” Gerard says.

The guys gives Gerard a card.

“Call these guys and tell them you are My Chemical Romance” he says “I will tell them we are expecting you”

Mikey talks for Gerard “Will do”

The guy nods and goes to walk away but stops.

“By the way awesome gig” he says and walks off.

“Okay, I’m gonna say this” Matt says “Now I need a drink”

Gerard looks at Matt and nods.

Matt gets 5 beers and holds them carefully and we all take one off him.

“Cheers to Frank for getting this gig for us” Gerard says.

“AND” I say “Cheers to an awesome band”

We all drink away.

Chapter 47 – You Aim So High *A Couple Of Months Later* (Gerard’s POV)

Today was the day My Mum had decided that Mikey and I should come over and see my Grandmother. Her name was Elena and she was pure inspiration for me. I loved her heaps. When I was very young me and her would sing together and she helped me with drawings and paintings. I had done my hair nice and gotten dressed quite nicely. I wanted to impress her, also because I hadn’t seen her for a while, I wanted her to think of me as the responsible adult. That meant no drinking and less bad language…in fact no bad language. Mikey had gotten dressed … Mikey like and had combed his hair back a bit more and now we were driving to my mothers.

Me and my mother, we still had okay relations and we got along way better then when I was a teenager, thank god. Mikey and her were pretty much the same as when he was a teen, but then again they didn’t argue with each other like me and mum did.

“Gosh, I can’t wait to see Nan” Mikey says.

“Sames” I say as I pull up in my mothers driveway.

We get out of the car I lock it and we walk to the door.

Mikey knocks.

“Coming” I hear my mother say pleasantly.

She opens the door.

“Hello Micheal” she says hugging Mikey.

“Hi Mum” he replies hugging her back.

She lets go and Mikey scoots past.

“Hi Mum” I say hugging her.

“Hi Gerard” she says hugging me back.

She lets go and we both walk through, I close the door behind me.

I look in the little hallway that is before entering the living room, looking at the pictures. A picture of me and Mikey when we were like 8 and 5. I smile. That’s a perfect picture of innocence.

I walk into the living room and see my Nan and she instantly smiles at me.

“Gerard honey” she says.

I quickly walk over to her and hug her.

“Hey Nan” I say hugging her tight and kiss her on the cheek.

I let go and sit next to her.

“How are you?” she asks.

“I’m great” I says, partly lying but partly not.

“That’s good to hear dear” she says with a smile.

“How about you?” I ask.

“I’m pretty good” she says, “I’ve been doing a bit of painting”

“What of?” I ask.

“Pretty much everything, Mostly my garden” she replies.

“How is your garden going?” I ask.

“Very well, Pumpkin will ready to harvest soon” she says “I bet you're looking forward to some of Grandma’s Famous Pumpkin Pie”

“Oh awesome” I say “Call me and I’ll come with Mikey to have some”

“I shall” she says.

“Would you like a tea or something?” I ask.

“I believe your mother is making me one” she says.

“Okay” I reply.

“So what have you been doing since we last met?” she asks.

“Well I quit my job” I say.

“Oh why?” she asks “I thought you liked it”

“Well I liked it for a while, but then it become so dull and boring and pretty much just depressing” I reply.

“Anything else?” she asks.

“Well I’ve started up a band” I say “And that’s, well, my new job, I guess”

“Oh that’s great” she says with a big smile “Who is in it?”

“Well me, Mikey, Ray and Matt” I say.

“What position are you?” she asks.

“Singer” I say.

“That’s great, I told you that you had talent” she says “How about Mikey?”

“Mikey is a bassist” I say.

“That’s good, didn’t he stop playing bass a while back?” she asks.

“Well yeah, but when we were going through positions he was the only one who could play bass so he wanted to play that” I reply.

“It pleases me so much that you aim so high honey” she says “I’m very proud of you, and don’t you forget that”

Mum comes in with two cups in her hand and Mikey follows her with another two cups.

Mum passes one to Nan and sits down in the armchair next to her and sips from the other cup she was carrying. Mikey passes me one of his cups and I take a sip. Tea and … heaps of sugar. It seems mum forgot I only take one not three like I used to.

I continue drinking it as if it wasn’t so sugary and all of us talk about what has been happening in our lives.

7.30pm…

We had been talking for ages and had lunch and dinner which was quite nice. But Nan had to be getting home so Mikey and I were about to leave.

I hug Nan tight. She kisses me on the cheek.

“Bye Gerard honey, I’ll see you soon” she says and then goes and hugs Mikey.

“Bye Mum” I say giving her a quick hug and kiss.

“Bye” she says and I let go of her.

Mikey and I get in the car and wave to them and drive off.

There’s an almost eerie silence most of the car trip home until Mikey’s phone goes off when we are three quarters of the way home.

“Hello” he answers.

I try not to eavesdrop but all I can hear is Mikey talking.

“Dude, That’s crazy” he says that immediately gets my attention.

“Okay I’ll tell him when we get home” he says and hang up.

He puts his phone away and looks straight out the window.

“Who was that?” I ask casually.

“Frank” I say.

“What’s up with him?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you when we get home” he says.

“Aww come on tell me now” I say.

“Nah at home” he replies.

“Fine” I reply really wanting to know.

When we get home I get a beer for Mikey and me and we both sit on the couch.

I light up a cigarette and take a long drag.

“So” I say, “What’s up with Frank?”

“He did something good for us” Mikey says with a big smile.

“What?” I ask.

“He got us something” he says.

“Mikey tell me” I say seriously.

“Frank got us a gig” he says.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

“Yeah” he says.

“Where?” I ask smiling.

“Frank’s friends 21^st party” he says.

“Umm okay” I say.

“Should we tell Ray and Matt?” I ask.

“Well duh” I say.

“Want me to do it?” he asks.

“Sure Mikes, but when is it?” I ask.

“Wednesday” he says.

“Mikes” I say.

“Yes” he replies.

“Today is Monday” I say.

“Yes” he replies.

“Man we are gonna do a lot of practicing” I say.

“Yep” Mikey replies.

“And we are gonna need a lot of alcohol” I say.

“No were not” he says.

“Okay let me fix that me and Matt are gonna need a lot of alcohol” I say “I’ll go get some now”

“Dude, can’t you not drink for once” he says.

“A bit of alcohol helps a lot” I say.

“Whatever you say Gerard, you're always right” Mikey says and picks up the phone and dials a number.

I leave the house and drive to the bottle-o to get some beer. To be precise 2 cartons of beer then I drive home and put them into the fridge.

“Umm Gerard” Mikey says.

“Yes” I say.

“Are we keeping with the name My Chemical Romance?” he asks.

“Hell yeah, It’s fucken awesome” I reply.

“Really?” he asks.

“Hell yeah, Mikey you are like the best band namer, I SWEAR” I say.

“It’s not that good” Mikey says.

“Yes it is” I say, “It’s like awesome, fucken awesome, stop being so modest”

“Really?” he asks again.

“Yes Mikey, if I have to say it again I will yell it so the whole neighbourhood will hear” I say.

“Okay okay” Mikey says with a smile.

“I can’t believe you got it from a book too, wow” I say.

“So you do really like it?” he says.

“Mikey, I will yell it” I say.

“Okay fine, I get it, you like it” he says.

Chapter 46 – Where’s My Shirt? (Gerard’s POV)

I wake up and sit up. I stretch a bit and look across from where I was sitting at the mirror and look at myself. I was a mess, I look down… hang on… I don’t have a double bed and I don't have a dark blue bedspread. I look to the other side of me and I definitely didn’t share my bed with someone else either. It was Frankie and he was sleeping … shirtless. I look at myself, I was shirtless too … and … Oh crap. I look around to room for my jeans, I find a pair but they weren’t mine … way too small … oh crap he must be … I finally stop my pants and get up and put them on quick. A pain in my head begins to release, It feels as if I had been hit in the head with a brick.

I hold my head and whine a bit in pain.

I continue looking for the rest of my clothes trying not to disturb Frankie. I find all of them including my briefs I quickly change into them and go into the living room. I then go into the kitchen and get myself a glass of water.

I didn’t … play around with Frank that much last night… did I?

I look around for some Panadol. God where the hell did he keep it? I search all the cupboards and draws in the kitchen.

“Second cupboard on the right with my other painkillers” Frankie says.

I jump when I hear his voice.

“Umm Hi” I say to him.

“Hey” he says with a smile “By any chance do you know where my shirt is?”

“Umm no” I reply trying not the look at his bare chest.

“You might wanna try the stuff in the yellow packet” he says “It’s stronger, I use it for hangovers so yeah”

He leaves the room.

I decide to take his advice and use the tablets in the yellow packet. I read the directions. ‘Take 1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours’.

I pop two tablets out the packet and take them with the water I had got myself. I put the tablets back and place the cup in the sink.

My head feels a tad better after taking them.

“Wow those tablets work quick” I say aloud so Frank can hear.

“Yeah well when I’m jamming you know you can’t have a headache or everything seems to sound like shit to you” He says “And serious where’s my shirt?”

“I have no …” I say and see his shirt on the TV.

I laugh.

“What?” he says entering the room and sees his shirt “Wow must have been some night”

He gets his shirt and puts it on.

“Do you remember it?” I ask.

“Vaguely” he says with a smile.

“Well I can hardly remember it” I say.

“Well, it was fun” he says and walks to his bedroom.

“What happened exactly?” I ask.

“Well … I’m guessing someone doesn’t want it to happen again” He says.

“Please tell me” I practically beg.

“Well love was made” he says with a giggle.

“Me and you?” I ask.

“Yep, and may I say your awesome but not my type” he says with another giggle “Too kinky”

“I didn’t mean it” I say sitting down.

He enters the room and sits next to me.

“You were drunk, not your fault, I took advantage and I’m sorry” he says.

“Huh?” I say.

“You had a boner the size of Mount Rushmore” he says with a giggle “And I took advantage of you”

“What the fuck?” I say with a laugh.

“Serious I’m sorry” he says.

“It’s okay, just keep your prying eyes away from my penis” I say with a laugh.

“Lets forget it all okay?” Frank asks.

“Okay” I say with a smile.

I look at the clock it was 11am.

“Damn I should go see Mikey” I say.

“Yeah I’ll see you later, I’m late seeing Hambone” he says.

“How did John get that nickname?” I ask.

“Long story” he says with a smile.

“Okay, I’ll see ya later” I say and get up and walk to the front door.

“Don’t forget your lyrics” he says coming up to me with paper.

He passes me them and I take them from him.

“Thanks” I reply.

I open the door and then close it behind me. I walk to my car and go home I don’t think I will ever be able to look and Frank the same way again. I shake me head trying to get rid of images I was having of Frankie and continue driving home.

(Mikey’s POV)

‘What is with Gerard and getting drunk all the time?’ I ask myself sitting on the couch staring into space.

I shake my head as I hear the door open.

“I’m sorry Mikes, …slept in” Gerard says.

“It’s okay” I say “Did you finish the lyrics?”

“Yep, we were trying to make some more but didn’t” Gerard replies.

“Okays, well I invited Ray and Matt over to help us a bit with, like, the name and stuff like that” I say.

“Okay cool” he says “But I need a shower”

“You're gonna have to wait they will be here soon” I say.

“I won’t be long” he says walking into his room.

No point arguing he could be stubborn sometimes.

He leaves his room and enters the bathroom.

I shake my head and turn on the TV and watch it a bit when I hear a knock on the door.

I go to the door and let Ray in.

“Hey” he says coming in.

“Hi” I reply and close the door.

I go to the bathroom door and knock on it.

“Rays here” I say

“Okay won’t be long” Gerard replies.

I hear a knock at the front door.

I walk back and answer the door.

“Heya, I gotta six pack” he says showing me the beer.

“Okay cool” I say and close the door after him.

Gerard comes out.

“Did I hear six pack?” Gerard says with a smile on his face.

“Yeah” Matt says throwing Gerard a beer.

Gerard catches it and opens it immediately and takes a long drink of it.

“Thanks” he says and goes into his room.

“Beer?” Matt offers to Ray and I.

“No thanks” I say.

“Nah, I’m fine” Ray replies.

“Suit yourself” Matt says and gets one out.

“I’ll put them in the fridge” I say taking the rest of the beers off Matt.

I take them to the kitchen and put them in the fridge.

I walk back into the living room and see everyone is sitting down, including Gerard.

“So” Gerard says.

“What’s the band gonna be called?” Matt asks.

“It’s … I have no idea” Gerard says.

“I got one … Nameless” Ray says with a laugh.

No one joins in.

“What?” he asks.

“So Mikey have you got an idea?” Gerard asks me.

“Umm I don’t know, why are you asking me?” I ask.

“Well your creative when it comes to names” he replies.

“Black Fire?” I say nervously.

“Now I know you're not trying” Gerard says with a laugh.

“Well … no, you're right” I say “But we don’t need a name right now”

“True” Ray says “Do we have any lyrics?”

“Yeah” Gerard says getting up quickly and going to his room, obviously getting them.

“They are really good, he was over Frank’s last night perfecting them” I say.

Gerard enters the room again and passes them to me.

“So what did you add?” I ask skim reading.

“A chorus pretty much, Frankie said that’s all it needed” Gerard replied.

I pass them to Matt.

“That’s awesome” I say, “It ties in so well”

“Yeah, I guess” Gerard replies “But we need more”

Matt passes them to Ray.

“Dude did you write that?” Matt asks.

“Yeah” Gerard replies.

“It’s … wicked” he says.

“Thanks” Gerard replies “But serious we need more then just one song, also we need to have like sound”

“How about we write a couple more songs then put music to it?” I suggest.

“Yeah, good idea” Ray says, “Also mad work on the lyrics, and what’s it going to be called?”

“Thanks once again” Gerard says “How about Skylines and Turnstiles?”

“Sounds good to me” Ray replies.

We get out some more paper and begin to work on some new songs.

Chapter 45 – It’s just a … thing (Gerard’s POV)

I open my eyes and could feel a sharp pain in the back and front of my head, and in the pit of my stomach I felt sick. I sit up and rub my eyes Why was I in my bed? Maybe I walked up stairs? No, not in my state, it must have been Mikey. I get up and walk to the mirror across from me and look into it, My eyes were red and awful. I shake my head and walk out of my bedroom into the living room Mikey glares at me as I walk in.

“Thanks Mikey” I say and walk to the kitchen were he follows me.

“What? do you think all that shits good do you?” he says angrily “Do you think its gonna make you happier?”

“Meh” I say and start making myself a coffee.

“That crap is doing you so much harm, when I found you … you were awful you threw up and I swear if I hadn’t been there you would have choked and died” he says now upset, it was obvious to me now that last night had been really bad for him.

“I’m sorry” I say “And thanks for helping me, serious, I appreciate it”

“Please at least ease down” Mikey urges “No more illegal’s”

“I’m sorry yesterday was a bad day for me” I reply.

“I know, but we can deal with it in other ways” He says.

“Okay, I’ll try” I say finishing making my coffee.

“Like with …” Mikey says and tries to drop the subject “Never mind”

“What?” I ask and take a sip of coffee.

“Did you… write anything last night?” Mikey asks.

“Umm maybe” I say “Kinda not with it at the time Mikes, everything is a possibility”

I quickly think of my wrists, I look at Mikey and see his eyes dart to my wrists and back to me.

I try to make it look as casual as anything and rub my sleeves down just to check if anything had happened but Mikey doesn’t see anything casual about it and his eyes dart back to my wrists and I stop myself from moving my sleeves further in case.

He looks back at me.

“So what do you think I wrote?” I ask.

“Just some lyrics, and I have to say they are pretty good” Mikey says and walks into the lounge room, where I join him.

He passes me a piece of paper. I read it.

You're not in this alone.

Let me break this awkward silence.

Let me go,

Go on record,

Be the first to say I'm sorry.

And hear me out.

And if you take me down,

Would you lay me out?

And if the world needs something better,

Let's give them one more reason now.

We walk in single file,

We light our rails and punch our time,

Ride escalators colder than a cell.

And in this moment we can't close the lids

On burning eyes.

Our memories blanket us with friends we know,

Like fallout vapour.

Steel corpses stretch out towards an ending sun,

Scorched and black.

It reaches in and tears your flesh apart,

As ice cold hands

Rip into your heart.

That's if you've still got one that's left

Inside that cave you call a chest.

And after seeing what we saw,

Can we still reclaim our innocence?

And if the world needs something better,

Let's give them one more reason now.

“I remember this” I say, “I wrote this when I got home, after talking to you, it just came to me”

“Well I like it” Mikey says.

“I do too” I say “kinda a remedy to all this … shit and chaos”

“Do you think it works?” Mikey asks

“Kinda I guess” I say.

“Oh yeah, Jacquie called last night to check if we were all right” Mikey says and leaves to his bedroom.

I smile and re-read the lyrics.

It would be cool to be a singer of an awesome band. Nan always said I had a creative talent, whether it is writing, art or singing she always said I was good at it.

I walk into my room with the lyrics.

I could imagine it now. Matt as the drummer, Ray as a guitarist, Mikey as the bassist and me … the singer. That would be cool. Yeah, I wonder if we could just try it out a bit.

I put the lyrics on the table and go into Mikey’s room.

“Holy shit get out” He yells at me and quickly I leave the room.

“Dude, tell me when you're gonna get dressed” I say.

“Well I believe its manners TO KNOCK” Mikey states.

“Quite correct, but me? Having manners? After having an idea?” I ask.

“What idea?” Mikey says coming out in a pair of light blue skinny leg jeans and a plain white shirt.

“Well you know how… we like music” I begin.

“Yeah” Mikey says crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway.

“Well, we could … make a band” I finish.

“That’s … different” Mikey says “But who would be in a band with us?”

“Wel,l Ray and Matt” I say.

“Yeah I guess,” Mikey says “But you're calling them, I gotta go out and do some shopping”

“Remember to get some Frankenberry cereal” I say with a smile and go to the phone.

“Dude grow up eat some MAN cereal” Mikey says about to leave.

“Nah, I’m sticking to childhood teeth rotting cereals” I say and pick up the phone.

(Matt’s POV)

“WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS A MOTHER FUCKING TOUCHDOWN” I yell at the football ref on TV.

My phone rings and I turn off the TV, That shit angers the blood.

I answer the phone.

“Yo” I say.

“Hey yo Matt” Gerard says.

“Heya what’s up?” I ask.

“Not much, gonna call work and quit” he replies.

“All cause of a little plane crashing?” I joke around.

“Not fully, I just don’t wanna be a clerk anymore” he says.

“Well what ya gonna do now Mr Way?” I ask.

“Well that’s what I’m gonna ask you” he says, “I was thinking since you know how to play drums maybe umm you, me, Mikey and Ray could start a band?”

“Dude, what whacked out medication have they put you on now?” I ask.

“It’s not that, I just feel maybe we could start a band and well.. help the world in our own way” Gerard says.

“You don’t know how corny that sounded but I’m in” I say.

“Serious?” he asks.

“Seriously serious” I say with a laugh.

“Good I just gotta get Ray’s okay and yeah it goes from there,” Gerard says.

“Awesome, you think he is gonna say yes and ditch his little not-that-good band position of drummer for your, don’t know what you're doing, band?” I ask.

“He is a drummer? IN A BAND?” Gerard replies.

“Yeah, but he isn’t that good, don’t tell him I told ya he isn’t good” I say

“Alright” he says.

“Okays well you better get trying G-man,” I say.

“Okays see ya later” he says.

“Bye” I say and I hang up.

(Ray’s POV)

I try picking up the beat again to a song on the second hand drums a friend gave me, but fail. I throw my drumsticks across the room.

“Why can’t I get it, god damn it” I yell.

My phone rings.

“Okay random” I say and go answer the phone.

“Hello” I say.

“Heya Ray” Gerard says.

“Hey” I say.

“You didn’t tell me you were in a band?” he asks.

“I did, you were probably drunk, or not with it, or daydreaming” I say.

“Make me sound like a great person Ray … Anyways you’re a drummer?” he asks.

“Well not for long I can’t fucken play serious I FUCKEN SUCK I COULDN’T KEEP A FUCKEN BEAT” I begin to yell.

“Dude, dude stop, calm down” he says.

“Sorry Gerard” I say, “Why did you call?”

“Why aren’t you playing guitar? You're awesome at that your talent is going to waste” he says.

“The band I’m in already has two,” I say, “So they needed a drummer and they saw me and thought I would do”

“Well would you rather be a guitarist?” he asks.

“HELL YEAH” I almost yell.

“Well maybe you should join my band?” he asks.

“You have a band?” I ask surprised.

“Well kinda, I’m starting one” he says “So far it’s me, Mikey and Matt”

“I guess I could leave this band” I say, “They could replace me … I think”

“Awesome” he says.

“But what about your job?” I ask.

“I’m quitting, I hate it,” he says.

“Sorry to hear that for the past ever, I told you to leave that sad miserable job” I say.

“I know you were right, you and the rest of the world,” he says.

“Okay Gerard, don’t get all upset dude, wasn’t your fault”

“Thanks Ray, I better call work and tell them I quit,” he says.

“You haven’t told them?” I ask “Weren’t you supposes to go to work today?”

“I couldn’t be bothered going to work, I’m just gonna call them now so I’ll see ya later” he says.

“Dude, your boss is gonna yell so loud” I say but he hangs up.

(Gerard’s POV)

Now to call … my boss who doesn’t know his business is closed still and doesn’t look like opening anytime soon.

I was not looking forward to this AT ALL!

I dial his number.

“Hello” Comes his voice.

“Hi Collin” I say.

“Umm Gerard?” he asks.

“Yeah, umm I have something to tell you,” I say.

“Yes? I’m kinda busy please state what you are trying to say” he says angrily.

“I quit,” I say calmly.

“WHAT?” He yells.

“I don’t wanna work anymore, it’s depressing,” I say.

“Life is depressing, get your ass to work,” he says angrily.

“No, I’m busy doing other things” I say.

“Whatever, you slacker, I’ll get Neil to take over” he says angrily and hangs up.

That wasn’t that bad.

But what to do now? I don’t know exactly what to do.

I know Frank could help me. But he was busy, Damn it.

I yawn God I was still tired so I sit on the couch and fall asleep.

6 hours later…

“Dude wake up, fuck you sleep for ages” Mikey says.

“What the?” I say rubbing my eyes.

“I came back 3 hours ago and you were still sleeping, I mean come on,” he says with a laugh.

“Sorry I was just tired,” I say.

“Did you get Toro and Matt?” he asks.

“Yeah” I say.

“Awesome, I’m guessing you quit work too?” he asks.

“Yep” I say, “Do you think Frank won’t be busy?”

“He would be home about to sip the first of his beer” Mikey says.

“I swear if that’s true I will be scared,” I say.

I pick up the phone and call Frankie.

“… Hello” Frankie says.

“Hiya” I say.

“Hi, thank you for interrupting my beer” he says.

I look at Mikey with a weird look Mikey smiles and leaves the room.

“How are you?” I ask.

“Good” he says “Yourself?”

“Alright” I reply, “I need some help”

“What is it?” he asks.

“Well I’m making a band,” I say.

“Sure you are” Frank says.

“I am, it’s me, Mikey, Ray and Matt,” I say.

“Okay, what do you need help with?” he asks.

“Everything” I say.

He laughs.

“Come over mine, I’ll help ya” he says.

“Want me to bring some lyrics I made?” I ask.

“Sure, I’ll see ya soon” he says.

“Bye” I say and hang up.

“Yo Mikey” I yell to him.

“Yes?” he says entering the room again.

“Are you like psychic or something?” I ask.

“Nah, just special” he says with a laugh “So you going over Frankies'?”

“Yeah, you were listening to my convo … right?” I ask.

“Yeah” he says “Kinda hard not to when you talk so loud”

“I do not,” I say.

“Whatever” he says.

“I’ll be back later” I say and grab the keys and my phone.

I leave the house and drive to Frankies'.

At Frank’s…

I knock on the door.

Frankie opens it.

“Hiya” he says letting me in.

“Hi” I say entering.

He closes the door.

“Beer?” he asks.

“Sure” I say sitting on his couch.

He leaves the room and comes back with two beers he passes me one, I open it and take a swig.

“So what have you come up with so far?” he asks.

“Huh?” I ask.

“Your band?” he asks.

“Not much, pretty much just the band members” I say.

Frankie smiles.

“Not even a name?” he asks.

“Nope” I say, “The name will come … eventually… I hope”

“Okay, so where’s the lyrics?” he asks.

“Here” I say getting up and taking a folded piece of paper out of my back pocket and passing it to him.

He places his beer on the table, unfolds the paper and reads it.

I watch him read it and take another swig of beer.

“Not bad at all” he says surprised “But you need like a chorus”

“Really?” I ask.

“Yeah” he says, “Need help making a chorus?”

“Maybe” I say.

“I’ll get you a pen and paper” he says and leaves the room and returns with a pen and some paper.

“Maybe repeat the chorus two times, once mid way and once at the end and add a bit at the end” He says.

“Yeah I guess,” I say.

“What is the about anyways?” he asks.

“September 11” I say.

“Wow. that’s like quick to write this,” he says.

“Yeah” I say, “I guess”

“Well we need like a filler chorus so, maybe like what happened account thing,” he says.

“Nah” I say “I want it more meaningful, I don’t want it like a report”

“Maybe what the people were doing?” he suggests.

“Actually yeah” I say, “I like it”

I begin writing down a couple of lines and Frankie helps me expand on it.

12pm and 5 beers later…

We had finished the lyrics and were trying to make some more but stopped after we realized we were both … somewhat intoxicated and were beginning to write crap. I had called Mikey and told him I was staying over because I would be unable to drive myself home in my condition and now we were watching TV.

“Oh my god” Frank said.

“What?” I say re-entering the living room.

“Gay sex” he says.

“Really” I say looking at the TV screen.

“Yep” he says.

“Whoa” I say “And we are watching this why?”

“I was looking through the channels” he says and changes the channel.

I smirk at him.

“It’s not as if you have never thought of it” he says.

“True” I reply.

“Really?” he asks.

I sit with him.

“What guy doesn’t think about sex and its kinkiness?” I say.

“So you're gay?” he asks.

“No” I say with a laugh “Chicks are awesome”

“So your bi?” he asks.

I think to myself.

“Well I’m not sure” I reply, “It’s a possibility”

He jumps on my lap and begins kissing me on the lips.

It takes me by surprise and I try to pull away but he doesn’t let me go, in fact he pulls me closer.

He pushes me so I’m lying on the couch and lies on top of me and starts to pash me.

At first I try to get away, but I start to like it and play along.

His hands move from my waist to my back and then to my neck were he curls my hair around his fingers. He stops and pulls up a bit and smiles at me. Part of me was telling me to push him away and catch a cab home and the other part was saying it might be your only chance, try it. Without another thought I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him towards me and pash him back.

Chapter 44 – Time To Cry Over Spilt Milk Early Morning In Aus* (Jacquie’s POV)

I wake up and have a shower, when I finish I wrap myself in my white dressing gown and wrap my hair in a blue towel. I walk into the kitchen and greet Tahlia and Mel, Tahlia had a milo and Mel had a Tea and as usual never made me anything, but that’s how I liked it they couldn’t make my coffee how I exactly liked it But anyways I felt like milk so I pour myself a glass and go into my room to pick out some clothes.
“HOLY SHIT” Tahlia yells.
“Fucken hell” Mel adds.
I quickly walk back still carrying my milk into the living room.
“Geez what? Metallica split up?” I joke around with a smile.
“NO serious Jacquie look at the news” Tahlia says.
I look at the news and read the headline with a smile thinking it was some stupid story.
My smile drops as soon as I get to the 2nd word, I go completely numb and drop my glass of milk Tahlia and Mel catch me as I fall.

A couple of minutes later…
I open my eyes and see just the blank ceiling, I sit up.
“You okay?” Mel asks.
“Yeah fine” I say.
“You sure?” Tahlia asks.
I immediately remember what had happened and begin to cry.
“Why the fuck are you crying?” Tahlia asks, “It’s not like your family was in the buildings”
I rub my eyes.
“I’m not crying about that” I say “I’m crying because now I have to clean up the glass of milk I just dropped”
I rub my eyes again.
Tahlia rolls her eyes and leaves to the kitchen
“What about your friends?” Mel asks.
I couldn’t have run faster to the phone if I tried.

(Mikey’s POV)
The phone rings.
I sit up from my bed and grumble about who could be ringing at this hour. I put on my glasses and walk to the phone.
“Helloooo” I slur into the phone.
“Hello Mikey is that you? Are you okay? Is Gerard okay? How about Ray? OH MY GOD and Matt and EVERYONE?” Jacquie screams into my ear.
“Shhhh” I say into the phone “What is up with you?”
“The planes and the crashing and the buildings and possibilities” Jacquie says quickly.
“Oh right” I say now getting she was talking about “Everyone is fine, and Gerard is sleeping I think, I could wake him if you want”
“Oh umm no its okay” Jacquie says relived “Just thought maybe someone could have been there and something happened, Isn’t Gerard’s work like in New York?”
“Yeah, he was on the train at the time” I say sitting on the couch.
“Is he okay?” She asks.
“Well he hasn’t said much, all he did was come home straight away and say what had happened and went into the basement” I say now realizing maybe he was still down there and start thinking the worse.
“Okay, well I’ll talk to you later” She says very calmly then before “Sorry for waking you”
“Okay cya” I say and hang up and put the phone down.
I run down to the basement and find Gerard sitting in the corner looking up at the ceiling His eyes wonder around the ceiling till they finally rest on me.
“Dude, are you okay?” I ask walking closer.
He starts laugh at me and the stops suddenly and looks back at the ceiling. He begins coughing uncontrollably.
I rush over to him and kneel by him and put his head up and then realizes he was gonna chuck up so I till his head to the side were him vomits violently. I pat on his back to help him. He finally stops and I sit him upright and go look over at the table where had been before I went to be.
Gerard’s anti-depressants were scattered all over his art and comics. Also there was weed and other shit. I look at a piece paper that was under one of the bottles of anti-depressants.
It was lyrics but what too? The song I had never heard of, but it was pretty good. Did Gerard write it?
I look at him and see he is looking straight at me, I quickly put down the paper thinking maybe it was private.
Gerard stares at me hard and in somewhat of an angry look, but I see it’s not his doing but just how he is sitting.
I walk over to Gerard and help him to his feet and he leans completely on me as we walk up the stairs into the living room, we continue for his bedroom where I place him on his bed and pull the covers over him.
He would most likely be all right in the morning, if not then I would take him to the hospital.
I go to the kitchen and get some paper towel and a bag. Cleaning up sucks. I walk down into the basement and clean it up, I take a look around to see what Gerard had been doing down here, I see heaps of bottles of numerous alcoholic beverages. I shake my head and put them in the bag too, I collect some other crap from around the place and put it in the bin outside. As much as I tried to help Gerard it never seemed to work, and most times he never acknowledged what I had done for him.

Chapter 43 – What just happened? **Fast Forward to September 11th** (Gerard’s POV)

I get up early and catch a train into New York. I look out of the dirty train window everything was so depressing in my life. Selling comics in New York had become depressing, Breakfast Monkey was declined by Cartoon Network for being too similar to Aqua Teen Hunger Force, like shit man. Well at least I was close to Mikey, He helped me out. All I know about my life is that I’m an alcoholic who should just go die, it’s not like the world needs me all I do is sell comic books and take up space and all these fucken prescription anti depressants and shit don’t work. I always have thoughts about ending it all, but what way? A gun to the head, drowning, jumping off a cliff or a buliding, stabbing myself, a cocktail of drugs the choices were endless and then where? My house or what? And when? When should I end it all for better or worse?
I stop thinking about this shit and just look out the window and admire how far New York has actually come.
Why are those planes flying so low?
I laugh.
It looks as if they could fly straight into the twin towers.
My smile drops as I realise that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
I watch on unable to help, just watch as the planes hit the buildings. I hear screaming on the train and look and see everyone is looking out the window as I had been.
Am I fucken dreaming?
What the fuck happened?
Why did they crash?
How long till I get to a TV and find out? But serious, what just happened?

Chapter 42 – Killing Spree Shoppers (Jacquie’s POV)

I wake up and get ready for work How I was not looking forward to it? It’s going to be madness with all the sales in the store. Fucken slutty girls galore. I carefully walk past the sleeping Tahlia on the couch and go through the front door. My work was only down the street in the Mall so I could walk. Occasionally I would see Nate on my way to work when he was walking to his girlfriends who lives near us. But lately he would just stay over and have “Breakfast”. I don’t talk to my mum that often, like once a month at most. I arrive at the mall and walk in and go into Dazzle.
“Geez you're late” Kelly says.
Kelly was one of the sluttly blonde anorexic girls who worked here.
“Hi Kelly nice to see you too” I say sarcastically, I make my way to the back and find my boss.
“Hi Jacquie” he says and looks me up and down “I told you bright clothes”
“A red shirt isn’t bright enough?” I ask.
“With black pants make you look total goth” he says.
“Well…” I say and stop myself from making a smart comment and continue “I’ll wear blue jeans and a yellow top”
“Good and your hair must be in ponytails” he says.
“Why?” I ask shocked he was giving me advice on hair.
“Cause it makes you look young … teenaged you know with the crowd” he says.
I breathe in then out.
“Okay sir” I manage to say.
Kelly walks in.
“See like Kelly’s” he says.
Her hair was in ponytails, one on both sides.
“But that’s so… good” I say holding myself back.
“That’s good to hear” he says and walks over to Kelly and talks to her and leave the room.
I walk up to the wall and hit my head against it.
“I hate my job” I say under my breath.
I take a couple of deep breaths and go out the front.
“I wanna be on register” Kelly says.
“Fine take it” he says “Jacquie you're on stock”
I nod. I was going to be super busy today.


7 hours later…
I walk down the make up isle on my way to hair with an arm full of hair dyes and on top of that hair extensions. I was dodging everyone trying to there. Serious today was the busiest I have ever seen this place. I fall to my ass when someone runs into me.
“Look out whore” the girl says to me and continues walking.
“Fucken slut” I yell at her.
I get to my feet and begin picking up the hair crap, Two of the bottles had broken. I look at my pants and see I have it on me.
Great! PERFECT! Now I was not only working in a place I hated but I was covered in peroxide blonde hair dye that stunk like shit.
I pick up the rest of the stuff and continue to the hair place. I put it in the correct places and walk back to the closet out back where cleaning supplies were, I got out a mop and bucket and took them where it had spilt. I mop up the mess and place a slippery sign there then I take the mop and bucket back to the closet where my boss confronts me.
“Jacquie” he says.
“Yes” I say”
“A customer came up to me and said you insulted her” he says.
“I did but she had run straight into me and I fell over breaking two bottles of peroxide blonde hair dye which I cleaned up just then, explaining the mop and bucket I put away” I say “Then she called me a whore and walked off”
“You shouldn’t have insulted her still” he says.
“I know sir” I say “But I’m so stressed with all this work”
“Well you won’t be working her anymore Jacquie” he says “Today is your last day and by the look of it you have half an hour left”
“What?” I say “This is the only job I can get at the moment”
“Not my problem” he says walking away.
“Fuck you” I mumble and walk off out the shop.
I walk home.
The nerve of some people. I was better then all of those plastics at work, I did a way better job. But he fires me…. I’M FREE, jobless, BUT FREE.
I jump in the air randomly and then look around to see if anyone saw me. Stupid me.
I continue walking till I arrive home and go inside.
“Anyone home?” I yell out.
“Maybe” I get a reply from some male.
“Well okay, would the air around me like a drink?” I ask.
“Possibly” Another reply from the male.
“Gah who is that?” I ask.
“Guess?” I hear Mel’s voice ask.
“Has Melly got a bf for life?” I ask.
“Eww I’m not imbred” She yells out with a laugh.
“Heya Jacquie” Andrew says walking out with Mel.
“Hey, gosh it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you” I say walking over to him and hugging him.
“Yeah a year I think” he replies hugging me back.
“So how was work?” Mel asks.
“I got fired like half and hour before closing time” I say letting go of Andrew.
“Why?” Mel asks.
“Stupid blonde bimbo ran into me and I called her a slut” I say.
“Short temper as always” Andrew jokes.
“It was a busy day and I just snapped right at the end of it” I say and flop onto a seat.
“Oh well” Andrew says and changes the subject “So I hear you're gonna come to the wedding”
“Yeah, even though its in November” I say.
“Well its defiantly gonna be in November because Anna likes spring” Andrew says.
“So when can I met Anna?” I ask.
“You have met her” he says and walks into the kitchen.
“When?” I ask following him.
“School” he says getting a can of coke from the fridge.
“Was she a close friend of ours?” I ask.
“Well no” he says.
“What’s her last name?” I ask.
“Well it’s gonna be Hyde” he says nervously.
“Andrew” I say getting annoyed he wouldn’t tell me.
“Anna West” he says and walks out the kitchen.
“Oh okay” I say.
I hated her so much in high school, she was like THE bitch of all bitches.
“Well she has changed a lot since then okay” he says “she really nice, I swear to you she has completely changed”
“Okay, I’ll take your word” I say.
Well most people change when they get out of school so she probably has.
“I better go” he says.
“Why?” Mel asks.
“I've got to do some stuff, I’ll be back soon” he says “Bye”
He goes to the front door and leaves taking the coke with him.
Mel looks at me annoyed.
“What I was just asking?” I say.
“I know” she says “I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at him”
“Why?” I ask confused.
“He just took the last coke” she says “The one I bought”
I laugh.
Mel walks into her room.
The front door opens and Tahlia walks in.
“Hi” she says walking past into her room.
“Hi, How are you?” I ask.
“I’m alright” she says out of her room “Yourself?”
“I’m good” I say.
“Hiya” Mel calls from her room.
“Hi” Tahlia calls to her and comes out her room dressed her pj’s already.
I look at her and laugh.
“What?” she asks “This is way more comfortable”
“True” I say.
“So what’s for dinner?” Mel asks entering the room.
“Pizza?” Tahlia asks.
“Oh hell yeah” I say “No way am I cooking”
“What happened?” Tahlia asks.
“I got fired” I say.
“Good” she says.
“Not good, now I have no income” I say.
“Meh, we will find you a job” Tahlia says walking to the study.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m gonna be working in a strip club?” I ask.
“I don’t know” Tahlia says to me from the study “But that sounds like a good j..”
“NO” I yell to her.
“Okay fine” she says “How about working at The Cross?”
“ I’M NOT GOING TO BE A SEX SLAVE” I yell.
“Geez someone’s jumpy” she says.
“Sorry just I need money and being fired does have its downside” I say “Even though I hated it there”

Chapter 41 – New Years Thoughts **Fast Forward 6 Years* (Gerard’s POV)

“5…4...3...2…1 Happy New Year” calls the TV.
“Woopie” I say taking another drag on my cigarette “Here come the calls”
I get up and walk to the phone. It rings and I answer it.
“Happy New Years” comes the voice of my mother.
“Happy New Years Mum” I reply to her.
“New Years Resolution?” she asks, I knew what she was hoping for she wanted me to quit smoking and drinking but no way was I going to.
“Umm get some sleep,” I say grabbing my beer and taking a swish of it.
“Okay fine not like you’re going to quit something, Anyways can you get hold of Mikey for us?” she asks.
“He isn’t here he has gone to a party” I say.
“Why didn’t you go?” Mum asks.
“The hostess is... well, a bitch doesn’t like me” I say taking another swish.
“Okay promise me you won’t get drunk out of your mind” Mum asks.
“I won’t Mum, I gotta make sure I can pick up Mikey,” I say.
“Okay bye honey” Mum says.
“Bye Mum” I say and hang up.
I turn off the TV and go to my drawing table. I needed to make some new ideas for comics. I wanted to make comics for ages but the comics I made didn’t appeal to many, so I stopped and began working as a comic book clerk but as a side project I would make comics and at the moment I was making a cartoon for TV called The Breakfast Monkey with Joe Boyle But things aren’t looking that great. All I know is I’m feeling worse then ever.

(Mikey’s POV)
“Did you say pizza or pissa?” Ray asks.
“I said pizza” I reply with a laugh.
“Yeah I could go for both” Ray says “Keep the pizza in mind I’m gonna go pissa”
I laugh and watch him make his way through the bodies of people dancing. Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around.
“Hi, another drink Mikes?” Ricki asks.
“Thanks dude” I say taking it from him.
“So when you leaving?” he asks.
“Umm 2” I say.
“Okay is Gerard picking you up?” he asks.
“Yeah” I say.
“Tell him I said hi” Ricki says “I haven’t seen him for a year”
“Yeah he has been working hard,” I say.
“Okay I’ll see ya later gotta go check on Rayanne” Ricki says and walks off towards the kitchen.
“Dude the toilets are full of retards” Ray says behind me.
I turn and look at him.
“Well what were they doing?” I ask.
“Oh you don’t wanna know eww,” Ray says.
“Did you ‘pissa’?” I ask.
“Yeah” he says with a laugh.
“I wonder what Gerard is doing,” I say.
“Stuff” Ray says.
“Yeah thats what I thought” I say sarcastically “When is Frankie playing?”
“Umm about…” Ray says looking at his watch “5 minutes”
“That is cool” I say “Finally a good break for him”
“Yeah” Ray replies, “He has worked so hard to get this band up and running”

(Frank’s POV)
“Okay you guys are on in 3 minutes” Janice says.
“Thanks” I reply.
“Dude this is major how did you get this anyway?” Hambone asks.
“Oh I asked” I reply.
“All you did was ask?” Hambone asks confused.
“Pretty much” I say.
“You didn’t…?” Tim asks.
“No” I reply with a laugh “Never fuck for a gig”
“Good” Tim replies.
“Anyone else nervous?” Neil asks.
“I think you know the answer to that” Hambone replies “Yes”
“Okay you're on in ten, I’ll introduce you” Janice says and walks onto the stage.
“Everything I’ve worked for” I say quietly “Happens tonight”
“Hello everyone, how you doing?” Janice says into the microphone “Here is Pencey Prep a relatively new band from New Jersey, so give it up for Pencey Prep”
The crowd roars as we walk onto stage.
“Good luck” Janice says to us as she walks off stage.
I take a big breath and I count us in and we begin to play.

1 hour later…
“Dude we were awesome tonight” Hambone says to Neil.
“I’m gonna see if I can find Mikey” I say “Before he leaves”
“Okay see ya soon” Hambone says.
I walk out through the bodies of people listening to the next band. How many people did Janice invite anyway?
I stop, Mikey and Ray are talking near the buffet so I walk over to them.
“Man you were awesome” Mikey says when he sees me.
“Thanks” I reply “But you're not just saying that?”
“I’m serious you were awesome” Mikey says.
“Yeah” Ray agrees “Fucken Awesome”
“That’s good,” I say, “I thought I sounded off”
“Nah you were great” Mikey says.
“So when you leaving?” I ask.
“At 2” Mikey says.
“No meaning to burst your bubble its 1:56, you better head for the exit it’s packed here” I say.
“Yeah, I’m gonna get another beer and leave” Mikey says “Ray coming with?”
“Yeah okay” he replies.
“I’ll see you guys … soon” I say and walk back to my band.

(Mikey POV)
Ray and I are in the gutters waiting for Gerard’s car to pull up.
“You wanna come with us?” I ask “I’m gonna see if we can get some pizza”
“The shops are closed” Ray says.
“True but we will get one of those frozen ones and heat it up,” I say.
“Okay sure” Ray replies.
I watch Gerard’s car pull up to us.
I open the door.
“Hey can we get a frozen pizza Ray and I are hungry for one,” I ask getting in.
Ray hops in the back.
“Ray is staying over?” Gerard asks.
“I don’t mind I’ll go home if you want” Ray says.
“You can stay, I just wanted to know if you were staying” Gerard says, “It means I gotta buy more beer”
“And pizza” I add.
“And pizza” Gerard agrees.
Ray and I close the doors and we drive off.
“So was Frankie good?” Gerard asks.
“Oh hell yeah” Mikey says.
“By the way Mum says Happy New Year” Gerard says.
“Cool I’ll call her when we get home” I say.
“She would be asleep” Gerard says “Call her in the morning”
“Okay” I say.
We hear a loud snore and both look behind us and see Ray had fallen asleep.
We both laugh and we pull up to a petrol station.
“This place has like, good pizza” Gerard says and hops out the car.
I hop out too and we go inside and walk to the frozen food area.
“Ham and pineapple or meat lovers?” I ask.
“Umm meat lovers” Gerard says.
I pull out a pizza and we go to the counter and pay for it.
We quickly walk back to the car and get in.
“Next stop the bottle-o” Gerard says and we drive off again.
“So have you called Jacquie yet?” I ask.
“Nah not yet” Gerard says.
“Okay I gotta call her too,” I say.
We pull up at the bottle-o and Gerard runs in and comes back with two large cartons of beer, I open his door for him and he passes them to me.
“These are going to squish you” Gerard says “Put them in the back”
I place them in the back avoiding the sleeping Ray, who’s snoring, was making me want to crack up laughing. It was a cross between a chainsaw and a goat.
We drive again going home this time.
“I saw Ricki while I was there” I say.
“Was he alright?” Gerard asks.
“Yeah, he told me to say hi and also told me he hasn’t seen your for a while” I say.
“Yeah I know, been busy as you know” he says.
“Yeah hows things going anyway?” I ask.
“Not great” he says.
“Damn” I reply I couldn’t really think of what to say.
We pull up in the driveway.
“Ray we are here” I say shaking him.
Ray opens his eyes and looks at me.
“Okay” he says and gets himself out the car.
Gerard and I get out the car I carry the pizza in and Gerard carries the beer, I use my key to open the door and we go inside.
“I’m gonna call Jacquie” Gerard says putting the beer down, takeing the phone and going in his room.

(Jacquie’s POV)
“So was that good or what?” I ask.
“The best sausages I have had in … 3 days” Tahlia says.
I laugh.
“Hell yeah” Mel says.
“So anyways Mel, hows Andrew?” I ask.
“Yeah he is alright, did I tell you he is getting married?” Mel says.
“Really when?” I ask, as usual Mel had forgotten to tell me about her brother.
“November” she replies with a smile.
“Whoa that’s a long time from now,” I say.
“Yeah, there was also something else he wanted me to tell you” Mel says trying to think “umm oh yeah did you want to go?”
“Sure it would be awesome,” I say.
It had been 3 years since me and Andrew parted ways. We felt more like best friends then lovers so we broke up. Mel was upset we weren’t going to be sister-in-laws but she got over it But Mel, Tahlia and I had gotten a house together because we were practically sisters anyway.
The phone rings so I get up and answer it.
“Hello” I say.
“Hi” Gerard says.
“Hi, how you going?” I ask
“I’m alright,” he says “Yourself?”
“Good” I say.
“By the way Happy New Years” he says.
“Thanks” I say with a laugh “Our New Years was a while back”
“I know but I didn’t call then, thought you would be out” he says.
“Well I wasn’t had a night in with my friends” I reply, “Did you go out?”
“Nah, Mikey and Ray went to a party” he says “Frankie and his band played there apparently they were really good”
“Awesome” I say, “How’s work been?”
“Fucken boring and bleh” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“Well its so annoying trying to come up with idea’s” he says “The Breakfast Monkey cartoon isn’t going well everything has flopped”
“Don’t worry it will pick up” I say trying to encourage him.
“I seriously doubt it, Anyways how is work going for you?” he asks.
“You mean my boring job as a clerk for Dazzle that I hate because of all the plastic people that come in” I say “Oh it's dandy they want me to wear more colourful clothes to lighten up the atmosphere or some shit”
“Man that sounds like shit” he says, “Why don’t you quit?”
“Only job I can get” I reply “And its fucken torture”
“Oh Mikey wants to talk to ya, I’ll hand you to him” Gerard says.
“Okay” I say and wait for Mikey.
“Hi” Mikey says “Happy New Year”
“You too” I say.
“Did you do anything for it?” Mikey asks.
“Nope, but I heard you went to a party” I say “And Frankie played”
“Oh yeah, serious, Jacquie he was awesome, the whole band was awesome” Mikey says, “The crowd was rocking out, it was amazing. you should have been there”
“I wish I was,” I say
“Oh and if Ray was awake he would say happy new years but he has crashed” Mikey says with a laugh.
“When he wakes up tell him I said Happy New Year,” I say
“Sure” Mikey says “Bet you gotta go so I’ll leave you now”
“Okay” I say “I’ll talk to you guys later”
“Okay see ya” he says and hangs up.
I go back to Mel and Tahlia and sit down.
“Jersey friends?” Mel asks.
“Yeah” I reply.
“I want to meet them one day” she says.
“You will eventually” I say “One day”
I finish my dinner and take out the dishes.
‘I was so right about the comic book industry’ I think to myself and smile.

(Gerard’s POV)
“Dude that is …” I say turning away and covering my mouth “I think I’m gonna throw up, Mikey you're cleaning it up”
“Dude you're so childish” Mikey replies “Can you get like, stuff?”
“Okay” I say and walk out the room to the kitchen and get some cleaning stuff to clean up Ray’s liver hating him mess.
I walk back in and pass the stuff to Mikey I smirk at Ray.
“It’s not like you haven’t done this before” Ray says angrily “Plus you did it all over Jacquie”
“You what?” Mikey asks.
“I was real drunk and went over Ray’s with Jacquie and well … then threw up over her” I say awkwardly.
“Well I think she was very impressed by that” Mikey says cleaning up.
“Yep she was” Ray says with a laugh “She had to wear my dressing gown”
“When was this anyways?” Mikey asks.
“Last time she came over” Ray replies.
“That was ages ago” Mikey says “She has probably forgot”
“Doubt it” Ray says “It was everywhere”
“Shut it” I say, “How much did you drink anyway?”
“3 beers” Ray says.
I crack up laughing.
“What?” he asks.
“3 oh fuck you’re a pussy” I say and continue laughing.
“I think it was spiked” Ray says.
“Sure, Ray, sure” I say and walk to my room “I’m gonna get some sleep cause … I need sleep”
I collapse on the bed and begin thinking.
I was such an idiot last time Jacquie was over. Getting drunk, getting kicked outta my place and forcing her aunt to look after me for two weeks till finally my mum let me come back into my house, but most of all the thing I really hate that I did was pretending to be asleep just to get a little glimpse of her changing, I don’t care if I was drunk what I did was stupid and I hate myself so much for it. Even though it was like 6 years ago, that’s no excuse.
I breathe deeply and close my eyes.
Sleep finally finds me.

Chapter 40 – Morning Sunshine (Gerard’s POV still)

“Oh sunshine” Jacquie says waking me.
“I’m not opening my eyes,” I say.
“Why?” Jacquie says
“Sunlight” I say.
“Don’t worry Vampire, my room is pretty much blocked from sunlight,” She says.
Open my eyes and right in front of my face is a smiling Jacquie.
“Ever heard of personal space?” I say with a smile.
“What’s a personal space?” She asks jokingly and gets off the bed and walks over to the door.
I laugh.
“Anyways, what do you want for breakfast?” she asks.
“Umm coffee?” I ask.
“What a great choice” she says “ I choose that too”
She walks out the room and I get up and follow her.
“1 coffee, 1 sugar and plenty of milk?” she asks.
“3 coffee, 2 sugar and plenty of milk” I reply.
“Geez we are so alike” she says making to coffee’s exactly the same.
She passes me a cup and grabs hers and we walk into the lounge room.
“Where are Kerrie and Jimmy?” I ask
“Shopping” I say.
“Why?” I ask.
“Getting microwave food” she says with a laugh “Jimmy had to tell her that her food is bad when she cooks it”
“She take it well?” I ask.
“Kinda, she was upset she couldn’t cook but realised she doesn’t have to cook anymore” she says.
“Microwave food?” I ask.
“Cause she agreed to cook dinner for the rest of the week” She says.
“So microwave food that most times is still frozen all week?” I ask.
“Yeah for them” she says, “Me and you will be going out for dinner”
“They know that?” I ask
“Jimmy does” she says, “Kerrie will guess”
I begin drinking my coffee.
“Man you sleep like a rock” Jacquie says.
“Well last night wasn’t the greatest” I say.
“Why?” she asks caringly.
“Bad dream” I say.
“Do tell” she says.
“Nah” I say “Wouldn’t want you … hurt”
“Huh?” she Mumbles.
“Don’t worry” I say “How did you sleep?”
“Alright” She says “Not the best sleep I’ve ever had”
She sips her coffee.
“Dreams?” I ask.
“Well I remember some of one them” she says “It’s sorta depressing”
“And…” I question.
“I don’t want to say” She says
“Come one please” I beg.
“Well I was in a white dress cutting myself” she say “and then I just huddled into a ball then …”
“Then what?” I ask.
“It doesn’t matter” she says drinking her coffee.
“Tell me” I say.
“Fine” she says “someone sat next to me and picked me off the ground and asked me if I was alright”
“And…” I ask. Did we have the same dream?
“Gerard I don’t want to say anymore okay” she says and gets up and drinks the rest of her coffee and puts her cup in the kitchen.
“I’m going to have a shower” she says and walks into her room.
I walk after her.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I’m fine” she says giving a weak smile and takes some clothes and walks out the room to the bathroom.
I drank some more coffee, We had the same dream, and she didn’t like it either.
I finish the coffee and put it on the side table.
I open one of my bags and look for some clothes. I pull out some clothes and change but before I could put on my shirt Jacquie walked in, but didn’t seem to care I was shirtless so I continued changing. She stops and looks at me I look back at her, She opens her mouth as if to say something but stops and closes it again.
“What?” I ask.
“You do realise we are gonna see Matt when he comes back from school?” She asks.
“You are” I say.
“No we, pretty sure it's we” She says.
“But he hates me” I reply.
“No he feels you hate him so he just backs off not wanting to cause trouble” She says.
“Did he say that directly to you?” I ask.
“Well no, but I can tell” She says.
“Fine” I say giving in.
“Thanks” She says smiling and walking over and then hugging me.
“You're welcome” I say hugging her back.
She lets go and we get a bit awkward.
“I better go check on … Kerrie” She says walking out of the room.
“But she’s shopping” I yell to her.
“Oh right” She says back with a giggle.
“So what you wanna do?” I ask entering the living room.
“Nothing just chill I guess” She says.
“Okay” I reply.
“Any new drawings?” She asks.
“Yeah tonnes … and tonnes that got ruined thanks to those arses” I say.
“Hey don’t worry about that you could do more” She replies.
“I know but I worked so hard on them” I say, “Do you wanna see some of my other drawings?”
“Sure” she says with a smile.
I go back into the room and bring out a folder of my drawings.
I pass her the book and she begins going through it.
“Anything I can do for you?” I ask “Coffee?”
“Nah but you can help yourself” She replies and goes back to looking.
I walk into the kitchen and decide to make myself another coffee.

(Jacquie’s POV)
Man he is just one of the best drawers I know I flip through the book till I stop on a drawing I really like and examine it, Gerard walks back in with a coffee.
“What one are you looking at?” he asks walking over to me.
“This one” I say showing him.
“Yeah, that’s a good one but I copied that off Matt” he says sipping his coffee.
“Okay” I say flipping through again.
Something must have popped into his head and he took the book off me.
“Now I can’t look?” I ask.
“Eh I think thats enough looking” he says putting it on the table “Show us some of yours”
“Nah, they not good most of my drawings have diminished in quality” I say.
“I shall be the judge of that” he says with a smirk.
“No Gee, you're not gonna see them. so there” I reply.
“I let you look at mine” he says.
“I know” I reply “But I don’t want you to see mine”
“Okay fine” he replies and rolls his eyes.
“GAH. I thought I was away from that” I say.
“What?” he asks.
“Rolling of eyes” I say “Never mind”
“Ahh it pees you off” he says with a laugh.
“Yes, yes it does” I reply.
Gerard rolls his eyes.
“Stop it Gee” I say getting pissed.
Gerard does it again.
“Gerard stop it” I say.
“Stop what?” he asks with a big smile and then he rolls his eyes again.
“STOP IT” I yell.
He begins doing non-stop.
I push him to the ground and I have my knees on his stomach.
“Stop” I say.
Her smiles and starts up again.
I put my hands around his neck and begin trying to choke him.
“Doing that to a guy that has a death wish doesn’t really intimidate them” he says.
I stop.
“You don’t have a death wish” I say.
“Yes I do, watch” he says and rolls his eyes.
“You're right, you do” I say and begin choking him again.
Gerard and I begin wrestling on the fall.
Well … wrestling cross kick boxing cross boxing for me.
Gerard pins me down but I flip him with my leg and I hold him down.
“You know I’m so gonna win” I say.
“Nah…” he says and pins me back down again “…I have more strength then you, you little Goth”
“Nah” I say struggling to flip him again because he has my legs pinned down too.
“Now to torture you” he says and begins to roll his eyes.
“Gah stop it” I yell.
The front door opens.
Gerard and I look to see Jimmy and Kerrie looking at us.
“Kerrie tell me again why we don’t do that?” Jimmy asks.
“What the hell are you doing?” Kerrie asks.
“Wrestling” Gerard says jumping off of me.
“Sure” Jimmy says.
“Nah serious we were” I say while Gerard helps me to my feet.
“Okay I take your word for it, but serious she’s a chick that is so not fair” Jimmy says.
“This chick could kick your ass” I say “And tire Gerard out then win”
I laugh.
“I don’t tire that easily” Gerard says.
I poke my tongue out at him.
“Anyways we are back” Kerrie says taking the bags into the kitchen.
“Right” Jimmy says taking a bag into the kitchen.
“Very gentleman like Jimmy” Gerard says sarcastically.
“She picked them up before I did” he says.
“Sure Jim Jam” Gerard replies.
“Where the hell did you get that from?” I ask.
“What?” Gerard replies.
“Jim Jam?” I ask.
“Oh a nickname for one of Mikey’s friends” Gerard replies.
“Oh Okay” I say.
“Oh yeah Mr Jim Jam got a movie for you two” Jimmy says.
“Cool” I say, “What is it?”
“Forrest Gump” Jimmy says.
Gerard and I look at each other then back at Jimmy.
“Your kidding right?” I ask.
“No” he says, “Apparently it’s a good movie”
I sigh.
“Why must you listen to the arses of TV” I say “Listening to the rubbish reviews about movies”
“Whatever you're watching it” he says passing me the video.
“Fine if we fall asleep don’t wake us” I say.
I put the movie on and we all watch it.

3 hours later…
“OWWW” I yell and look around.
I had fallen off the couch and hit the other chair awaking me from my slumber. I look to see why … Gerard is smirking at me.
“You ass” I say to him rubbing my head.
“I’m not a donkey” he says.
“Why the hell did you do that?” I ask.
“Felt like it” he says getting up “Also I believe we are seeing a certain friend about now”
“Who?” I ask.
“A certain Matt” he replies.
“Oh damn” I say offering my hands to Gerard.
“Help yourself” he says with and evil smirk.
“Oh you're gonna wish you never said that” I say with one of my evil smirks.
I pull his pants down.
“DACKED BITCH” I yell to him “Boxers man”
He quickly grabs his pants and pulls them up again.
“Shut up” he says and helps me up.
“Be a gentleman then” I say and I walk to my room.
“I thought you didn’t like gentlemen” he replies.
“When I want help I do” I say and put on some shoes.
“I’m guessing we are going to Matt’s” he says.
“Yeah” I reply.
“Train Gerard in service all aboard Jacquie and to Matt’s we are going” he says.
“What the?” I say.
Gerard picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
“Gah Gerard put me down” I say.
He walks out the house and then carries me to Matt’s and puts me on my feet.
“Why thank you Master Way” I say poshly.
Gerard knocks on the door.
“You're welcome Madamme Valkyrie” he replies.
The door opens and Matt is standing there.
“Hiya” I say.
“Hi” he says confused.
“Hi Matt” Gerard says.
“Hi” Matt replies.
It goes awkward.
“Remember you are joining us today” I say.
“I am?” Matt asks.
“Yeah” I reply.
“What are we gonna do?” he asks.
“I don’t know” I reply feeling rather stupid.
“Well that sounds fun” Matt says sarcastically.
“Hey lay off her she wants to see you” Gerard says.
“Sure” Matt says sarcastically “I’m pretty sure she only came to see you”
“No I didn’t I came to see all of you” I say “I thought you guys were friends”
“So did I" Matt says.
“What the hell do you mean?” I ask.
“A certain somebody said something and then most of us fucked off into other groups, really the only two that stayed good friends was Ray and Mikey” Matt says “I stayed with Gerard for a while but he seemed really to only care about himself so I left him alone, Frankie went off to his other friends place because they were a sort of band”
“I don’t only care about myself, If it wasn’t for me Jacquie would still be asleep and you would be here lonely” Gerard yells at him.
“Probably the only reason you waked her was so you could grab another refreshment” Matt says using his hand to symbolize him drinking a drink.
“I would drink if I could find some, but I’m not selfish enough to wake anyone just to get a fucken drink” Gerard yells at him.
“Oh you must be craving a drink so bad right now” Matt teases, “Oh what’s this…”
Matt walks away and comes back with a beer in his hand.
“Oh what do I have here a nice ice cold beer” he says opening it and drinking some “This must be one of the best beers I’ve had”
“You know what would go so great with that beer?” Gerard says.
“What?” Matt asks.
“A slutty girlfriend” he says “Oh wait she fucking someone else”
“Shut up you…you … fucken emo” Matt says.
“Fucking stoner” Gerard replies.
“You know that was only once you prick” Matt says.
“Sure, sure arse wipe” Gerard replies.
“LISTEN TO YOU TWO, YOU'RE FUCKEN CARRYING ON LIKE LITTLE KIDS THAT HAVE LEARNT NEW BAD WORDS” I yell “YOU TWO USED TO BE BEST FRIENDS … INSEPARABLE BEST FRIENDS”
“You're right” Gerard says looking at his shoes “We used to be”
“You could be again” I say.
“True” Matt says.
“Call it a truce” Gerard says looking up at Matt.
“Truce man” Matt says with a smile.
“Hug” I say.
They both look at me.
“What?” I ask, “Friends hug”
“Gay friends” Matt says with a laugh.
“Whatever” I reply, “Do you think maybe we could get everyone back together?”
“I think we could” Gerard says with a big grin.