Chapter 26 – Tell ‘em (Matt’s POV)

8.30am…
“Tell ‘em I’m not going to school okay Matt” Gerard says.
“Okay, but why?” I ask.
“I just… don’t feel like going to school today Matt” he replies.
“Okay fine, Dude need anything txt me alright” I say.
“Okay bye” he says and hangs up.

I shake my head and put on my shirt.
I go to my bag and fill it with books I need for today, I pick up my phone and txt Paula to see if she was ready for school, She replies saying yes, I walk out my house taking my bag and I walk to hers.

Paula is sitting on the doorstep of her place reading a book with her bag next to her.
“What ya reading?” I ask.
She looks up and smiles and closes her book.
She walks up to me and hugs me.
“I’m guessing I’m more important” I say.
“Hell yeah” she says.
“Ready to go” I say pulling out of the hug.
“Yeah… but where’s Gerard?” she asks.
“Oh he’s not coming to school today” I say.
“Why?” she asks.
“I actually don’t know” I say.
She gives me the ‘Yeah right, This is some practical joke’ smirk.
“Serious” I say.
“Fine” she says.
We walk to Ray’s.
Ray is kissing Lucy and Lucy is doing the same.
“Hey public display” Paula says.
I laugh.
They both stop.
Ray goes a little red but Lucy laughs.
She seems to take everything well, un-serious.
I mean if someone calls her a bitch she says something like ooo my favourite animal.
Oh well she funny about it anyway.
“Where’s Gerard?” Ray asks now not red in the face.
“He isn’t coming to school today” I say.
“Why?” Lucy asks quite worried.
“I don’t know” I say.
“Oh” she says now kinda nervous.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Nothing” she says nervous still.
“Sure” I say.
She glares at me.

We walk to school slowly since we have some time to kill.
I was holding Paula’s hand but Ray wasn’t cause Lucy was too busy doing something with her phone, Ray looked quite upset about that, I didn’t want to make him feel any worse so I let go of Paula’s hand.
“Why’d you do that” Paula asks.
“Ray and Lucy aren’t holding hands” I say keeping my voice quite so Ray and Lucy couldn’t hear me.
“So that’s them this is us” she says.
“No I mean Ray isn’t really happy about her not holding his hand so I didn’t wanna make him feel worse you know seeing us doing that” I whisper.
“Oh, your so sweet” she says with a smile.
I smile at her.
Paula stops and walks next to Lucy.
‘Oh great she gonna meddle’ I think In my head.
“So who ya txting?” Paula asks Lucy.
Lucy moves the phone out of view of Paula.
“No one” she says.
“Sure” Paula say.
Lucy continues, with the phone out of sight of Paula.
“Tell me” Paula begs.
“No” Lucy says.
I nudge Paula to stop.
She pushes me away.
“Come on” she begs Lucy.
“Don’t worry” Lucy says and pushes a button and puts the phone into her back pocket.
“Fine” Paula says coming back to my side.
Ray attempts to hold hands with Lucy but she doesn’t realise it and grabs out a bottle of water and takes a drink.
She passes the bottle to Ray but Ray declines the offer.
She puts the bottle back in her bag.
We walk the rest of the way to school in silence.
We sit in our usual spot and wait for the bell to go.
I lie back and rest my head on my bag.
Paula Lies down too and rests her head on my chest.
Ray and Lucy were talking quietly among themselves.
I nudged Paula to get up, She got up and I did too.
“I need to call Gerard okay” I announce to everyone and walk off with my phone in my hand.
I walk over near a quite spot and call Gerard.
“Hi Matt” Gerard says answering the phone.
“Hey” I say “Why aren’t you coming?”
“I just don’t wanna go today” he says.
“Tell the truth” I say.
“I don’t have to explain myself Matt” he says angrily.
“I want to know okay?” I ask
“Okay the answer is NO” he says.
“Gerard” I say.
“NO, and by the way tell Lucy to stop txting me okay” he says and hangs up.
I think about what he said about Lucy.
And go to walk back to where my bag is.
“Hey Luc..” I say

The bell goes…

“Lucy” I say
“Yeah” she replies “Gerard okay?”
“I don’t know he wont talk, but anyway he said to me to tell to stop…”
“Hurry up get to class” A teacher says walking around hurrying us to class.
“Tell me at recess Matt” she says walking off with Ray.
Paula comes up to me.
“Onward to Maths Mr Matt” she says and giggles.
I pick up my bag, as does she.
We walk to Maths and sit next to each other in the back row.
“So what do you have to tell Lucy” she whispers to me making sure the teacher couldn’t hear.
“Gerard told me to tell her to stop txting him” I say just as quiet as she said it.
“You mean when we were walking to school she was txting Gerard?” she asks.
“Probably” I say.
“Why is she txting him?” she asks.
“I dunno” I reply.
“Unless …” she says.
“Paula quiet” The teacher yells at us.
Paula rolls her eyes and starts working.


Recess…
Paula, Lucy and I meet up at our spot. With Ray nowhere to be seen.
“Anyways Gerard told me to tell you to…” I say
“To stop txting him” Paula finishes for me.
“Oh” Lucy says.
“Why would he says something like that Lucy?” Paula asks her angrily.
“Why the hell are you angry Paula?” I ask.
“Matt you are blind” Paula says.
“Well…” I was gonna reply with a smart remark but stop myself.
“I was only talking to him” Lucy says nervously.
“About?” Paula asks.
“Nothing really” Lucy replies.
“Why he wasn’t coming to school obviously Paula” I say.
“Matt stop one minute” Paula says.
“Well I did ask him that” Lucy says.
“You know what I’m talking about Lucy don’t play fucken dumb with me” Paula says a little louder.
Lucy backs up a bit.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Lucy says.
“What would happen if Ray was to find out?” Paula asks.
“What the hell is going on?” I ask.
“It is obvious Matt, Lucy likes Gerard” Paula blurts out.
“Friend or…” I say but Paula cut me off.
“LOVE” she yells.
“Oh” I say.
“It’s not as if you don’t like him either bitch” Lucy says angrily.
“I like him as a friend, I love Matt if you haven’t noticed, and you are suppose to be in love with Ray” Paula yells.
“Why are you on my case?” Lucy asks.
I turn to walk off so I don’t cause any more trouble but stop to see people are gathering behind us and as I look at the people I see Ray pushing to the front.
“Honey umm crowd and Ray” I say kinda embarrassed.
“HELLO YOU’RE BEING UNFAITHFUL” Paula yells.
“No, I’m not” she says slightly louder than before.
“OH YEAH LIKE FLIRTING WITH GERARD IS NOT CHEATING” Paula yells.
“I’m…” Lucys says but stops and looks at her shoes.
“Umm Paula, Ray’s…” I say but am cut off by her.
“LET ME GUESS YOUR USING RAY” Paula yells.
“Paula” I say louder.
“Zip it” She says to me but keeping her eyes on Lucy.
“OKAY FINE YOU STUPID BITCH YOU CAUGHT ME, I WAS USING RAY TO GET TO GERARD OKAY GET THE FUCK OVER IT” Lucy yells even louder than Paula.
I tap Paula on the shoulder.
She turns around.
“Wha…” she says but then stops finally realising why I was trying to get her attention.
“I was trying to tell you” I say.
Lucy catches on to what I was meaning as well.
I look over at Ray.
He had an angry/upset/ surprised look on his face.
Then it changed to a look I had only seen once on his face before and that was when his Grandmother died yep the look was sadness.
He looked as if he was gonna burst out crying but he didn’t.
“Ray is over there” I say quietly to Paula.
Paula spots him.
“Oh shit” she says.
Ray shakes his head obviously fighting back tears.
“Ray, I’m so sorry” Paula says.
I turn and face Lucy.
She looks like she cross between a surprised and relieved.
I look back over to Ray.
He pushed back though the crowd running off.
I ran off after him.
“Fuck off you assholes” Lucy yelled to the crowd.
“Oh shut up slut” They yelled back at her.
I finally caught up to Ray.
He was sitting on the steps close to the front of the school.
I sit next to him.
He was madly wipes his eyes.
“Dude it’s okay” I say.
He shakes his head and continues wiping his eyes.


(Gerard’s POV)
I’m lying on my bed thinking about what I’m gonna say.
I love Jacquie but our relationship is hard.
I mean she is over in Australia and I’m here.
We had so much fun together. We are practically the same but this whole distance thing is just way too hard, She would probably be better off with someone in Australia, I don’t want to let her go. But it’s for the best.
I get up and pick up my phone and dial her number.
“Hey” she says happily.
“Hi” I reply sadly.
“What’s up?” she asks worried.
“I just… I need to…I gotta say…” I say trying to find the words but can’t think of them.
“Gerard” she says.
“I think it’s better we see other people” I blurt out.
“WHAT?” she asks.
“You know it’s hard and yeah” I say.
“You're breaking up with me?” she says sadly.
“Yes I’m sorry” I say about to cry.
“Why?” she says sobbing.
“I think its best okay bye” I say and hang up.
I begin to cry.
That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
My heart feels as if its broken but still it’s for the best.
My phone rings (Calling: Jacquie).
I ignore the phone and turn it off.
I fall back on my bed.
‘It’s for the best’ I say over and over in my head.


(Matt’s POV)
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without her” Ray says.
“Umm live, I mean she wouldn’t let you do anything” I say.
“But I loved her” Ray says.
“Yeah but she was a user plus if you don’t mind me saying she was a bitch a sluty, ugly bitch” I say.
He laughs.
“Well yeah I guess so” he says a little happier.
We hear people egging on people to fight.
“Oh please don’t be Paula” I say.
Ray and I run to were we hear the voices.
“You fucken slut” Paula yells.
“Whore” Lucy yells.
But hey weren’t fighting, well they were but verbally.
“Come on Paula she’s not worth the energy” I say.
“But she said…” Paula says but decides I’m right and walks over to me.
“You better go” Lucy yells.
I look at her and she has a cut lip.
“Did you punch her?” I ask Paula.
“Um maybe” Paula says with a smirk.
And walks off with Ray.
I turn back to Lucy.
“Don’t come anywhere near Ray or Gerard or any of us for that matter” I say and walk off.
“You okay now?” Paula asks Ray.
“Yeah” he says with a little smile.
Ray stops.
“What are we gonna tell Gerard?” he asks.
We stop and look at him.
“Umm I dunno” I say.
“The truth” Paula says.
“Man you sound old fashioned” Ray says with a laugh.
She laughs.
“So we gonna tell him now?” I ask.

The bell rings.

“Guess not” Paula says with a laugh.
We all walk to class. Thank god Ray has the same classes as Paula and I cause I’m pretty sure Lucy is in most of our classes too.
We walk into our classroom and people start clapping.
I look at Ray and Paula and shrug.
We walk to the back and sit together.
The clapping ceases when Lucy walks in.
The booing starts.
Paula and I start laughing. But Ray sits with a straight face but occasionally a little bit of an angry face appears but dies and goes back to the straight face.
There’s one place left in the room and it’s next to Ray.
The teacher walks in.
“Lucy sit down” he yells.
“Umm sir there’s a kinda problem,” she says.
“Hey Ray switch seats” I say quietly to him.
He gets up and we switch sides.
“There’s no problem Lucy, There’s a nice big seat for your elephant sized arse” I say.
The whole class cracks up laughing except the teacher and of course Lucy.
“Mr Pelissier stop it or detention, Please sit next to Matt Lucy” he says.
Every stops laughing but a couple snicker as she walks to sit next to me.
“So how are you?” I ask jokingly.
“Shut up” she says.
“Aww she’s hurting my feelings” I say jokingly to Paula.
“Shut up” she says.
I start copying down notes.

Lunch…
“Okay we calling him now?” I ask.
Ray and Paula nod.
I call Gerard’s mobile.
I wait but no answer and then a message saying his phone is off.
“His phone is off” I say.
“Call his home” Paula suggests.
“Okay” I say.
I call his home phone.
“Hi” someone says but I can’t make out who it is cause the voice is so quiet.
“Umm Hi It’s Matt, Umm Gerard there?” I ask
“You're talking to him” The voice says and the a loud sob.
“Gerard you okay?” I ask.
Paula and Ray look at me.
“I’M FINE, I JUST BROKE UP WITH JACQUIE AND NOW I’M CRYING YEP FINE AS ANYTHING” Gerard yells.
“Oh my god. really?” I ask.
“Yeah” he says.
“Gerard do you want me to come over?” I ask.
“Nah I’m fine” he says.
“Gerard” I say.
“Nah I’m fine I know how to tie a fucken noose” he says.
“FUCK GERARD DON’T YOU DARE” I yell into the phone.
“It’s not like I will I mean I have SOOO much to live for” he says sarcastically.
“Yes you do, you have us and at the moment Ray needs you” I say.
“Matt… What do you mean Ray needs me?” he asks
“I’ll tell you when I get home okay” I say “Please Gerard don’t okay”
“Fine, but you need to call Jacquie and say I’m sorry okay” he says.
“Okay see ya” I say.
“Bye” he says and hangs up.

“Okay what’s up with Gerard?” Paula and Ray ask.
“He has broken up with Jacquie” I say.
“REALLY?” They yell.
“Yeah, and he’s kinda on the suicidal side of the break up” I say.
“Shit we can’t leave him alone” Ray says.
“Don’t worry he won’t” I say.
“How do you know that?” Paula asks.
“Cause I said Ray needs him, he won’t do anything when he knows any of us are in trouble” I say.
“I guess that a good idea” Paula says.
“I gotta call Jacquie, Gerard told me to” I say.
“Okay” they say.

I call Jacquie.
“Hi” a very squeaky voice says.
“Hey Jacquie you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah despite the blood everywhere I’m fine” she says.
“Oh fuck don’t tell me” I say
“I won’t cause you know” she says.
I hear a thud from over the phone.
“Jacquie you alright?” I call out on the phone loudly.
“Yeah” she says in her squeaky voice.
“What did you just do?” I ask nervously.
“I fell to the floor” she says.
“Why?” I ask.
“I felt like it” she says angrily.
“Well Gerard told me to tell you he is very sorry” I say.
“WHY THE HELL DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME?” she yells.
“I don’t know I didn’t talk to him for that long” I say.
“Is he okay?” she asks.
“Yeah but he was cr…” I say but stop.
“WELL IF HE WAS CRYING WHY THE HELL DID HE BREAK UP WITH ME” she yells.
I hear another thud over the phone.
“Jacquie” I yell out.
“Yes I’m fine Matt” she says sarcastically.
“Listen okay, It’s gonna be fine” I say.
“I wish I could believe you” she says.
“It will get better” I say.
Paula hits me.
“Give me the phone” she says quietly.
“Hey I’ll give ya to Paula she wants to talk to you” I say
“Okay” she says.
I pass the phone to Paula. She grabs it from my hand and starts talking.
“Well I think we should leave this to the girls” I say to Ray and we sit and have some lunch.

15 mins…
“Okay bye” Paula says and hangs up and passes me my phone.
“She’s gonna be fine” she says.
“Okay” I say.

The Bell goes…
“Aww I didn’t eat anything” Paula says.
I shake my head, we walk to Art class.
We go inside and sit in the back row.
“Hello class today lets let our creative minds wonder” Our teacher says “It’s time for creative painting”.
She was new and I swear she was a hippy who does marijuana but hey she was nice.
“It can be anything” Our teacher goes on “Well as long as it’s not violent or … mean”
I start drawing random stuff on a piece of paper.
I look at Paula’s as usual she always knows what she’s gonna do (if you get my drift lol).
She’s painting a heart bleeding black blood.
“How creative” I say being sarcastic.
She sticks her tongue out at me and continues.
“I mean how many of those sorta paintings have you got?” I ask
“Umm 5” she says.
“That’s not enough?” I ask.
“Nope” She says with a smile.
I look at Ray’s its a nice picture of a…tree.
“Umm Ray just asking, what’s with the tree?” I ask.
“Eh bored” he says and continues.
I look at my pictures. Man I suck at drawing. If Gerard were here he would help me.
I try drawing a wolf I guess it looks… fine?
I transfer it to a canvas and begin painting.
“Hey that’s pretty good” Ray says.
Paula looks at it.
“Yeah it is” She says.

End of School…
Ray and Paula meet me at the front gate of the school.
“So my place?” Ray asks.
“Umm Gerard” I say.
“Oh yeah” Ray says.
We all walk to Gerard’s.
I knock on the door.
No answer.
“Gerard” I yell.
“FUCKEN COME IN” He yells.
I open the door and we walk in.
Gerard is lying on the couch.
“Sorry I’m too lazy to open the door” he says.
“You okay Gerard?” I ask and sit next to him on a chair.
“Do we have to go over this again Matt” he says covering his face with his hands.
“Um no” I say.
“Why did you break up with her?” Paula asks.
“It’s for the best” Gerard says practically choking on his words and takes his hands away from his face.
“How is it?” Paula questions him slightly angry.
“She’s all the way over there with other guys and it's not like its not gonna cross her mind to go out with them” Gerard says nearly in tears.
“Gerard you know Jacquie better than me or Matt or Ray and I know she would never even think of cheating on you so why is it that you think she will?” she says.
“I dunno” he says getting frustrated.
I signal Paula to stop.
She glares at me and sits down on another chair.
“I agree with Paula though, you know Jacquie would never cheat on you” Ray says.
I glare at him but he doesn’t take any notice.
Gerard turns away from Ray and Paula and looks straight at me as if he was expecting me to have a say in this too.
I hate it when you are put on the spot and when whatever you say next could have dire consequences.
I look down at my feet avoiding Gerard’s gaze.
“So you agree with them Matt?” Gerard asks.
“Why are you asking me?” I ask.
“Well you’re my best friend I would like to know what you think” he says.
“Gerard it’s your decision not ours” I say.
He turns away.
“Gerard if you truly believe it’s best to leave her then I think… maybe you should just stay friends at least and I think you should tell her that” I say.
Gerard looks at me.
“I wish I could stay with her but maybe its best we are with people that live well near us” he says.
I nod.
He gives a small smile but it drops after a second.
He turns to Ray.
“Umm Matt said something was up with you and I was wondering can I know?” Gerard asks.
“Yeah I guess” Ray says “Well you know Lucy well…”
“She likes you by likes I mean LOVES and we found out she was using Ray to get to you” Paula says angrily.
“Really?” Gerard says surprised.
“Yeah” Ray says.
“Stupid slut… NO OFFENCE RAY” Gerard says.
“Don’t worry she was” Ray says.
“I’m sorry Ray” Gerard says.
“It’s not your fault you have an irresistible charm” Ray jokes.
Gerard laughs.
Ray smiles.
“Well I better call Jacquie and tell her” Gerard says.
“Do you want us here?” Paula asks.
“I think I will be okay by myself” Gerard says.
Ray, Paula and I walk out of his place.

(Gerard’s POV)
I sigh and pick up my phone.
I dial Jacquie’s number.
It rings only once and is answered but all I could hear was sobs.
“Jacquie” I say.
“Yes” she says very quietly.
“I’m really sorry” I say “And its just I think we should just be friends cause this distance relationship is hard”
“No, I love you” she says.
“I know, I love you too but it will be better if we go out with people we can see everyday and be able to call whenever something goes wrong but at the moment I can’t do that, I’m really sorry” I say.
“I’m gonna miss you” she says.
My eyes start to well up with tears.
“We can still be friends” I say.
“Yeah” she says.
“Bye” I say.
“Bye” she says and hangs up.


(Jacquie’s POV)
His words still echoing in my head.
I look down my wrist, Slashed and covered in now dry blood.
I quickly put on my school jumper and walk out of my room into the living room. I can’t believe mum didn’t wake up when I was crying. I sit down and Mark comes out of his bedroom and sits next to me.
“I heard you crying early this morning” he says quietly.
“Did mum hear?” I ask.
“Nope she was fully asleep” he says “Can I ask why?”
“Well… Gerard broke up with me” I say with a sigh.
“Why?” he asks surprised.
“Because he lives too far away from me and thinks its best we see people we can, like, call to if we are in trouble” I say.
“Aww he’s a nice boy” he says.
“What do you mean?” I say.
“He loves you so much he would give you up to someone else just to see you happy” he says.
“I don’t wanna be with someone else” I say.
“Well maybe you know you should try it” he says.
I shake my head.
“I don’t wanna” I say.
“Maybe in the future you may get back together 'till then live life” he says “Anyways I need to drive you to school”
“Okay” I say picking up my bag and walking to the car.


At school…
I wave at Mark and he drives off, I walk through the school gate and sit on the steps where we hang out.
Jared arrives and sits next to me.
“Hey Jacquie” he says.
“Hey” I say kinda quiet.
“You okay?” he asks.
“yeah” I say even quieter.
“What’s up?” he asks worried.
“My boyfriend broke up with me today” I say crying.
“Aww” he says “You can do better than him”
“No he is like perfect to me” I say “I love him and he loves me its just we live it two different parts of the world and he thinks I would be happier with someone who lives near me” I say wiping tears away.
Kristen walks up to us.
“Hey…” she says and sees me “What’s up?”
“She just got broken up with” Jared says.
“Aww” Kristen says hugging me.
Andrew walks up.
“Is she okay?” he asks Jared.
“Break up” Jared says kinda pissed he keeps getting asked.
“She had a boyfriend?” Andrew asks.
“Yes I did” I say kinda angry.
“I’m sorry” he says and sits next to Jared.
Kristen stops hugging me.
“So you gonna be okay?” she say.
“I dunno” I say “Probably”
“You're not gonna go all emo on us are you?” she says jokingly.
This gets me. I cross my arms.
“You… didn’t?” she says backing off a bit.
I look down.
“I gotta go” I say getting up and picking up my bag.
I walk off and go to the library.
I sit down and pull out a book from in my bag.
I flip though a couple of pages and then begin reading.
Andrew comes running in.
He walks up to me.
“Jacquie are you okay?” he asks.
“Gah can people please stop asking me that I’m not okay” I say really pissed off.
“Don’t worry about Kristen she just doesn’t know how to deal with emos'” he says.
“No one does” I say.
Andrew sighs and pulls up his sleeve and shows some faded scars.
“I’ve been emo” he says, “Depression got the better of me”
“Oh” I say.
He pulls his sleeve down again.
“Yeah” he says.
Jared and Kristen walk in.
“I’m so sorry” Kristen says.
“It’s okay,” I say.
I continue reading my book.
“We can, you know, like, go outside” Kristen says.
“Okay” I say.
I get up and we go outside.
We sit down on a bench, Andrew sits next to me.
I read my book again and he starts reading over my shoulder.
“You know it’s rude to read over someone’s shoulder” I say.
“Well I am rude” Andrew jokes.
I laugh.
“Anyways what’s with the book?” Andrew asks.
“Mikey said it was a good book” I say.
“Micheal recommend this book to you?” he says confused.
“No Mikey, my ex boyfriends brother” I say.
“Oh how old is he?” he asks.
“13” I say.
“Oh okay cool” he says.
I put the book away.
“Why’d you do that?” he asks.
“Cause I can’t be bothered reading anymore at the moment” I say.
“Okay” he says.
“Man I miss being in New Jersey” I say
“Why?” Jared asks.
“I just … well finally I got homey in my place and for once I had a couple of friends” I say.
“What about us?” Jared asks.
“Yeah your friends too its just I miss them you know” I say.
“Yeah” he says.
“I’m really, really sorry Jacquie” Kristen says.
“It’s okay get over it” I say.
She nods and starts talking to Jared.
“So what are you doing this weekend?” Andrew asks me.
“I dunno” I say.
“Wanna umm come over mine?” he asks.
“I don’t think I can, Mum hasn’t told me if I’m grounded or not” I reply.
“Okay well txt me if you can” he says.
“Sure” I say.

The bell rings
Me and Andrew walk to class together.
“I don’t want to have Maths first” He complains.
“Oh well” I say.
We walk into class and sit next to each other.
I write down notes from the board that our teacher had put up.
“Do you think you're gonna get grounded?” Andrew asks me.
“I dunno probably not” I say.
“Ok cool” he says and smiles and continues writing.
I continue writing too.