Chapter 36– The New Look (Jacquie’s POV)

30 minutes later…
He is nearly finished his bottle of vodka and me on the other hand half way.
“You can’t drink all of it you're gonna be like full drunk and like unable to move” I say.
“Meh this isn’t that much” he replies, “I have had a litre and just stumbled around”
He finishes it off and throws the empty bottle against the plain wall on the other side of the room and I jump on impact.
He opens his bag up and pulls out two vodka cruisers He looks at me and sits one of them next to his bag and then opens the other.
“You’re drinking more?” I ask.
“Yeah, you sound like my mother” he says taking a big mouthful and swallowing it.
“Why?” I ask.
“No reason MOTHER” he says walking off down the hallway and disappearing into room.
I continue looking at the walls again.
A picture of a girl catches my eye, the girl is sitting on a swing in the rain looking at her wrists cut and bleeding.
I examine the picture to see if there were anymore fine details that Gerard had added that would trick the mind, but none I could find. I look around some more and take a casual sip from my drink. I smile as I see a picture of what looks to be Frank with a black guitar similar to his but with flames on it Gerard always thought Frank had a talent when it came to playing the guitar. I finish my drink as Gerard walks in.
“Finished?” he asks.
“Yeah” I say.
He walks over to me and takes my bottle and leaves again into a room.

A few minutes later he reappears with my bottle filled with black paint and his with red.
“I wanna check something” he says “Get behind me”
I do as he says and he throws the two bottles at the plain wall on the other side of the room. The two bottles smashed against the wall spraying paint all of it.
“Okay explain?” I ask.
“Soon I will know,” he says.
“What the?” I ask.
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that wall” he says “Maybe words, lyrics something like that”
He turns and looks at me.
“Want another drink?” he asks.
“Okay” I reply.
He reaches down to his bag and passes me the bottle on the fall I take it from him and then he opens his bag and reaches into it bring out a bottle of beer.
“Beer Time” he says with a laugh and opens it and sculls half of it.
“You really shouldn’t do that so often,” I say to him.
“What are you gonna do about it?” he asks.
“Well nothing but tell you to stop,” I say.
“That's fine with me” he says then sculls the rest of his drink and drops the empty bottle to the ground It makes a cling when it hits and then he kicks it softly so it’s on the other side of the room.
He gets out another bottle of what looks to be chocolate milk.
“You might like these” he says showing me it and putting it on the floor He brings out three other bottles and kicks his bag against the wall closest to us. He walks again through the hallway and returns only carrying one of the bottles. He opens it and puts it to his lips and stops.
“What?” he asks “Need help opening that?”
“Oh no I forgot” I say looking at the bottle and opening it.
“Wanna sit down?” he asks.
“Umm sure” I reply.
“Follow” he says and walks through the hallway turning into another room, I follow him. The room turns out to be a bedroom With a single bed, a table and an armchair.
He sits on the in the armchair and drink from his bottle more causally, I sit on the bed and take a sip of my drink.
“So is this all you do here?” I ask.
“No” he says “I do way more, just a lazy day today”
“You need to go back to school,” I say to him.
“Why?” he asks madly, “To get bullied, bashed and broken”
“No, you need to learn more than just art” I say calmly “Plus if bullying gets that bad you can go home at lunch”
“I already tried that,” he says, “I’m thinking of dropping out, I wanna work in comics”
“Comics are cool, but … its not as glam as it seems” I say.
“Oh well” he says and drinks some more of his drink “I rather do that then get some shit ass job in an office”
“Okay, well I can’t control your life” I say and give a shrug and drink some more of my drink.
He looks straight at me as if he can see my soul and that he is thinking of a way of telling me he can.
“You're right” he says taking another sip of his drink and then places it on the table “No one can control my life”
He gets up and walks out the room.
I quickly finish my drink and place it on the table with his and walk out after him.
I fall over him lying on the ground and hit the ground with a thud.
“What the hell Gerard?” I say sitting up.
He pushes me back down.
“Ger…” I say but he covers my mouth.
He looks at me and shakes his head.
I listen carefully and hear a heated argument that sounded as if it was just in the other room.
"Stay here" Gerard whispers to me.
He crawls down the hall and stops next to where the front door would be He looks through the door. Meanwhile the argument is getting fierce. The yelling becomes louder until gunshots ring out Then there is the echoing sound of footsteps running away from the scene. Gerard gets up and walks over to me and helps me up.
"Drugies" he says.
"I see" I reply.
"We better get going before the cops get here or some shit will break out" He says walking back into the front room and getting his backpack. I walk to him and we leave the house and we walk down the dark road.

“Fuck I’m off my head” Gerard says breaking the silence.
“What do you mean?” I ask, “You look fine”
“Thanks” he says and I look at him.
He wasn’t fine his eyes were red and he was staggering quite a bit.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this … drunk,” he says.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this drunk” I say, “Why did you drink so much?”
“I’m nervous,” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“A couple of reasons” he replies.
“Do go on” I say.
“Well now I’m nervous cause if mum sees me like this she is gonna be really pissed and well there's too much to say” he says and stops walking.
I stop too.
“I could ask if you could stay with us” I say “But I doubt you're gonna be allowed”
“Damn” he says and then suddenly looks up holding his mouth.
“You're gonna be sick aren’t you?” I ask.
He nods and walks next to tree and starts throwing up I sigh and walk over to him and rub his back to help him bring it up.

We are there for about 15 minutes and finally he stops.
“Well I think I lost most my weight” he says with a laugh.
“Very funny, you're not going home” I say “I don’t think your mum would be pleased if you threw up on her rug”
“True but where are we supposed to go?” he asks, “We can’t go to yours because Kerrie wouldn’t be impressed”
“I’m thinking,” I say.
“I think Ray is home by himself,” he says.
“I don’t think he would be pleased but it’s worth a try,” I say.
We walk slowly to Ray’s.

It takes almost double the time to get there cause Gerard couldn’t stop stumbling around.
I knock on the door.
Gerard is leaning against me making me feel kinda uncomfortable especially where his head was placed.
Shirtless, Ray finally opens the door.
“What?” a sleepy Ray says angrily.
“Hi” I say.
“What?” He asks surprised we were there “Why are you guys here and why is Gerard in your … cleavage?”
“Well he is drunk and well he can’t go home cause of his mum,” I say “and well he said you were home alone so I was thinking…”
“Fine but please don’t make a mess, I’m in shit with my mum and dad cause of … an incident and I just don’t want anymore trouble with them” he says letting us in.
Ray helps me bring Gerard in who had fallen asleep, we put him on the couch.
“Well its good to see you” Ray says.
“It’s good to see you too,” I say.
“So where did he get the alcohol?” he asks.
“I have no idea,” I say.
“Do you have any?” he asks.
“Yeah” I say.
“Why aren’t you … like him?” he asks.
“I didn’t have as much as him but I am sorta just not as bad” I say.
“Did he pressure you?” Ray asks.
“No, not all” I say.
“Okay” he says with a smile.
“Ray do you have any food I could eat I’m starving?” I ask.
“Sure” he says.
We walk into the kitchen leaving Gerard to his deep slumber.
“I think we have some chips,” he says “From a week ago”
“Yeah I want to survive,” I say.
“Fine how about some popcorn?” he asks.
“Sure” I reply.
“I’ll make some, you keep Gerard company,” he says with a laugh.
I walk back to Gerard just in time to … get covered in vomit.
“Umm ewww” I say loudly.
“What?” Ray asks running out from the kitchen. I turn and look at him.
“Ewww” he says “That is gross”
“I think I’m gonna vomit too” I say.
“Don’t get it on the carpet” Ray says.
“Too late” I say looking down at my shoes.
Ray looks at my shoes too.
“Eww you got it on your shoe” he says.
“Not helping” I say.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says.
“Do you have something I can change into?” I ask feeling more sick the longer it was on me.
“Umm sure I guess,” he says, “What do you wanna wear?”
“I dunno anything even a dressing gown would help” I reply angrily.
“I've got one of those,” he says running off to his room.
“I didn’t mean literally” I say under my breath.
“I’m sorry” Gerard says.
“It’s fine,” I say.
“No its not this is my fault I shouldn’t have taken you to that house” he says.
“It’s fine really Gerard” I say, “I can wash my clothes”
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“It’s okay, you just try to get some sleep,” I say.
“I’m not tired though,” he says.
“You don’t know how little kiddie that sounded” I say to him with a smile.
He laughs a little and coughs.
Ray enters the room carrying a black dressing gown.
He passes it to me.
“Thanks” I say taking it from him.
“Should I get him something?” Ray asks.
“Yeah a glass of water and a bowl and remember the popcorn” I say.
“Oh yeah” Ray says running off to the kitchen.
I look at Gerard again he is asleep, he always so peaceful when he sleeps.
I quickly undress and put on the dressing gown before Ray enters with a glass of water and a bowl.
“Are you completely naked in my dressing gown?” he asks surprised.
“No… not completely” I say “You're not gonna die or anything if you wear this again anways”
He passes me the glass of water and the bowl.
“Want a bag for you clothes?” Ray asks.
“Yeah thanks oh and where do you keep your cleaning supplies anyways?” I ask.
“Umm why?” he asks, “I will clean up this mess”
“Nah I’ll do it,” he says.
“I am” I say, “I bet they are under the sink”
I walk past him to the kitchen and he follows me.
I open the cupboard under the sink and get out some detergent and then a bowl and fill it with some water. I get a cloth and take the bowl and cloth out to the lounge room and begin cleaning up Gerard’s “You shouldn’t have drunken” mess.
“Eww your touching it” Ray mocks.
“Ray Popcorn” I say.
He runs to the kitchen.
“Damn” he says.
“You killed it didn’t you” I say so he can hear me.
“Yes, I’ll start another one up” he says.
I hear pots cling in the kitchen and then the kernels falling into the pot and a lid placed over it.
Ray enters the room when I have finished.
“You did a good job,” Ray says picking up the bowl.
“Thanks” I say.
Ray leaves the room obviously getting rid of contents of the bowl.
I walk into the kitchen and wash my hands in the sink when hands circle my waist.
I guessed who it was and continued washing my hands and dried them on a tea towel.
I pull Gerard’s hands off from around of my waist and he attempts to do it again but I grab his wrists.
“What’s up?” he asks.
I roll my eyes and turn around I look at him his eyes were still red in fact maybe redder. I let go of his wrists and get the tea towel and wipe his mouth and put the tea towel back on the counter.
I smile, he reminds me of when I had to baby-sit a 1 year old who loved his mummy so much he would cry when she wasn’t around. I grab his hand and pull him back into the lounge and make him sit on a chair. Something was telling me I should leave so this wouldn’t turn into another Matt incident. (Chapter 15) but something was saying stay here he needs you. I sit on the chair opposite Gerard He looks at the glass of water next to him and grabs it and drinks some and places the glass back down. Ray enters the room and I look at him.
“What was I interrupting anything?” he asks.
“Popcorn” I say.
“Right I knew that” he says leaving the room to check on the popcorn.
An awkward silence fills the room.
I attempt to break it.
“So” I say.
Gerard stares at me, I glance away from him, looking at the painting on the wall I could feel his stare it was eating at me, wanting me to talk to him just to get him to stop I finally feel his eyes are off of me.
“Okay these look good” Ray says walking into the room with popcorn.
“Not burnt this time?” I ask jokingly.
“No” he says placing the bowl on the table “wanna watch a movie?”
“I think I might go home,” I say.
“You make me make popcorn for you and now you wanna go?” Ray asks.
“I just … don’t feel right,” I say getting outta my seat.
“Don’t go” Gerard says.
“I really should,” I say.
“Want your clothes?” Ray asks.
“Well yeah” I reply.
Ray passes me my clothes in a bag.
“I’ll walk you home” Gerard says.
“No you stay here and sleep,” I say.
“But…” Gerard starts
“…She right Gerard you are way too drunk” Ray buts in “But Jacquie you do need to be walked home here”
“Fine” I say.
I walk over to Gerard and hug him.
“Bye” I say “I’ll see you tomorrow till then you better sober up”
“Okay” he says pecking me on the cheek.
I let go and Ray and I walk off.

We walk down the street.
“I bet you its weird seeing a girl in a dressing gown walking down the street” I randomly say.
“Yeah people are gonna have heart attacks” he jokes.
“So, make sure Gerard sobers up okay” I say.
“Okay I’ll do my best,” he says.
“Is he like this all the time” I ask.
“Well he gets drunk a lot, but tonight he seemed different” Ray says.
We arrive at my house after the conversation went quiet.
“I’ll see ya later” I say hugging Ray.
“Bye” he says hugging me back.
I open the door and go inside and close the door behind me I walk quietly to my room go inside and put my bag of clothes on the floor, then I change into my pj’s and go to sleep.