Chapter 6 - New School, Same Sorta Day

“Honey, Time For school my little chickadee” I hear mum saying to me.
“Mum I don’t wanna go there’s no point,” I say turning over so I wasn’t facing her.
“ Did my little baby have a bad dream?” she said in a baby voice.
“Oh Shut up” I said getting up and walking to the shower.
“Okay Hun you have an hour to get ready for school” I heard her yelling to me as I was opening the shower door.

I had a shower and walked to my room and put on undies, a bra, a plain black shirt, socks and black skinny leg jeans. I was looking for my black chucks when Jimmy burst in the room scaring the hell outta me.

“Oh sorry yet again what do you want for breaky?” he said solemnly.
“I don’t eat breakfast on a school day sorry” I said finding my chucks.
“No wonder she gets in trouble” he said under his breath.
“What?” I said quickly.
“Oh nothing” he said walking out the room.

I picked up my bag and walked out my door but then quickly ran back to get my drawing pad (never know when you might need it). I walked to my mum.

“Why do you wanna drive me to school?” I asked.
“Umm you’re my child I wanna make sure okay?” she said.
“ Can’t I just walk?” I asked.
“NO! Get in the car” she yelled at me and then composed herself “ or your going to be late”.

I walked to the car and waved to Kerrie and Jimmy as they waved to me. Mum seemed really tense as she was driving me to school. She stopped to car at the front of the school and let me out.
“ See ya honey. Want me to pick you up or are you gonna walk?” she asked.
“ I’m gonna walk okay see ya” I said and walked off.

I went to the office to check what I was doing.
“ Hey there Jacquie, heres what you are doing, oh and do have fun” the receptionist said with one of the most fake smiles I have ever seen.
“ Umm thanks” I said and walked off. The bell rings. Oh man okay lets see what do I have…Art that’s great what room oh man. I quickly walk back and ask where the room is. “ Oh come with me,” she said now slightly angry. “Thanks” I said hoping it would lighten the mood.

She stopped “ Heres you class” she went to open the door but stopped “ By the way come to the office after this period and we will give you a locker and someone to help you around the school” she said with that fake smile.

She opened the door and walked to the male teacher and said something to him.
“Come in here umm Jacquie” I heard the teacher say. I walked in and looked around at everyone looking at me. The teacher came over to me while the receptionist left the room.

“ Hey I’m Mr Russell,” He said.
“ Hey” I said back to him.
“ Excuse me class,” He said trying to get the attention of the class even though they were already looking at me except for a boy right in the back who was busy drawing “Gerard…. Gerard… GERARD WAY” he shouted. The boy looked up “ Sorry sir” “ Well anyway this is Jacquie Valkyrie she’s new so everyone be nice to her”.

I could hear a couple of kids snicker but I really didn’t care.

“ Okay Jacquie go sit next to Jessica. Jessica hand up so Jacquie knows where you are”. A girl put here hand up so I walked over to her and sat next to her. She ignored me. Great already being ignored and I’ve only been in the school for 10 minutes. I look over at boy sir yelled at and he had already continued drawing.

55 minutes later…
Bell rings. Finally that was probably the worst art lesson ever. Everyone kept looking at me that Jessica girl kept saying stuff to her friends about me and I didn’t learn anything about drawing.

I walk over to the office.
“Hey again” I said to the receptionist.
“ Hi. Oh yeah you’re here for the little tour and a locker okay” she says.
“Ok let’s look for some loser” she said under her breath “Oh here we go here's Matt Pelissier” she introduced me to him.
“Matt here's Jacquie she’s new can you show her around?” she asked him.
“Uh sure” he said.

Matt was a couple of centimetres taller than me with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

“Oh yeah her locker is next to your friend Gerard’s so show her, I need to have a coffee” she said in a cranky voice.
“Okay” he said.
“ Well hi Matt” I managed to say.
“Hey you get the best locker ever right next to my pal Gerard he’s awesome” he said with a grin and showed me the way to it.

“Well here it is” he said“ this school is kinda shit excuse my French the way to get into your locker without a key is to slide something down the side of the crack yeah I’ll show you” he said pulling out a card.He slid it down the side of my locker and the door opened.

“ Oh thanks I think,” I said.
“Hey don’t worry only a couple of people know this well me and Gerard but we won’t break in or anything,” he said smiling.

I put stuff I didn’t need in the locker.
“Well what have you got next” he asked me.
“Oh I don’t know,” I said pulling out my timetable.
I looked at it“ umm…Maths” I said with a sigh.
“Where?” he said taking the timetable out of my hands“Oh looky here you’re in mine and Gerard’s class” he said happily.

He continued to study all the classes.
“Hey your in most of our classes except… health, English and…” he said and then burst into laughter.
“What?” I said grabbing the timetable and seeing what he was laughing at.
“ OMG your doing dance” he said laughing.
“What! I hate dance,” I said angrily.
“ Well its elective you must have signed up for it” he said confused.
“ Mum” I said angrier.
“Ooo did she choose that for you?” he asked.
“ I’m guessing. Great couldn’t she let me choose” I said groaning.
“Oh well. Hey there’s Gerard,” he said pointing him out to me.

Gerard started to walk over.

Matt said to him “Hey Gerard this is …”
“Jacquie” He said.
I smiled.
“ Yeah how do you know?” Matt asked.
“Oh she’s in my art class” Gerard said, “She interrupted my drawing time oh well”.
“Oh sorry Gerard” I said kinda embarrassed.
“ Meh actually I was just writing my name on it and random stuff as a border” he said laughing.
“Okay well anyway you wanna hang with us?” Matt asked.
“Sure” I replied almost instantly.

We walked outside and over to a bench under a tree.

“ Well this is were we hang out, but sadly for you umm we might be the only people you umm hang with” he said.
“Why?” I asked confused.
“Well we are like … total outcasts and now you have been seen with us well that makes you an outcast. I’m so sorry” he said solemnly.
“ I’m always an outcast and most times I’m more alone than this” I said looking at my shoes.
“What do you mean more of an outcast?” Gerard asked.
“ Well most schools I’ve been to I’ve … had well… no friends,” I said looking at Gerard in the eyes.
“Oh what did you do?” Matt asked.
“Nothing really. I was just being myself which it is apparently wrong to be a Goth who likes to draw and do art whenever she can” I said still looking into Gerard eyes.
“Whoa your pretty much like Gerard he’s goth and heaps loves doing art and don’t tell me you like comic’s?” Matt said.
“Well yeah I do like comic’s” I said smiling and finally turning away from Gerard to Matt.
“Well Gerard I guess it is possible to have a girl version of you” he said jokingly “Umm Gerard… GERARD”.
He quickly stopped looking at me and looked at Matt
“What?” he said confused.

Bell rings.

“Anyways we better get to class” he said with a smirk“Guess who’s with us in maths Gerard?”
“Umm Jacquie” he said with a smile.
Matt nodded.“ She’s in most of our classes great right Gerard?”
“ Uh yeah” he said.
I smiled.

We made our way to maths. I could feel hundreds of eyes staring at us as we were walking. But it didn't bother Matt or Gerard so I tried to make it seem as if it didn't bother me.

We finally came to a room that the boys entered and I followed. I went to the teacher and told him who I was and he wrote my name down on the roll. I went and sat next to Matt and Gerard right at the back. We were learning about algebra. I totally tuned out and started drawing in my drawing pad and then occasionally stopping and writing down notes in my maths book. Gerard kept looking over at my drawings he seemed impressed by them.

58 minutes later...
Bell rings.
"Okay class you are dismissed" the teacher said happily. I'm guessing relieved that he can go have a smoke or something."Well that was the most interesting Maths lesson ever" Matt said being sarcastic "Well time for History and yes Jacquie is in our class Gerard" he said jokingly.
"Why do you keep telling me that?" Gerard said.
"Oh Gerard I know something you know something Jacquie probably doesn't know this something but she will find out eventually" Matt said with a smile.
"Okay Matt you’re just freaking me out now" Gerard said laughing.

We started walking to our next lesson.
"So Gerard got anymore razor blades to slit your wrists with again?" said a girl walking past us.
Gerard didn't seem to acknowledge the comment and we continued walking.
"Gerard you can't just take that" Matt said eventually.
"She’s a girl I can't bash her or anything plus if I say anything she will think of a comeback and it will just get worse,” he said really not caring.
"Umm Gerard" I said weakly.
"Yeah" he replied.
"Are you umm emo?" I said nervously.
"Nah that stupid bimbo just says that stuff to make people hate me,” he said confidently.

We arrived at another classroom and we entered. I went to the teacher and told her who I was.
"Well hello there please take a seat Jacquie,” she said nicely. I went and sat next to Gerard who was writing something on a piece of paper. Matt was on the other side of him pulling out a book which he began to flip though. Gerard handed me the piece of paper he had been writing on earlier. I opened it up and read it: Hey, Don't speak for 15 minutes okay this teacher is awesome she will let us have a free period if we don't speak for 15 minutes. I replied a short and simple reply of: okay. I passed it back and he read it and smiled.

15 minutes later...
"Okay class since I haven't heard a peep out you guys it’s a free period do whatever you like in this room" the teacher said.

Gerard got up and came over to me.

"Your good at shutting up" he said with a smile" Way better than Matt".
Matt came over after hearing his name being mentioned.
"You said something about me" Matt said hoping to find out what Gerard had said about him.
"Well anyway Jacquie I saw you drawing in Maths I was wondering can I have a look at them?" Gerard said.
"Sure" I said happily.
I looked through my bag and found my drawing pad. I pulled it out and handed it to Gerard. Gerard started looking though it with Matt looking over his shoulder.

45 minutes later...
The bell rings.
"Okay class you have been wonderful as usual see ya,” the teacher says.

I took the drawing pad from Gerard and put it in my bag. He and Gerard had been looking though them the whole time.

"It's lunch right?" I asked.
"Yeah" Matt replied.We walked to their little hangout spot under the tree. I sat down on the seat while Gerard and Matt sat on the table.

"So where do you guys live?" I asked.
"Me and Matt live near a park near the big shopping centre" Gerard replied "Where do you live?”
"I actually don't know. I just arrived a couple of days ago and I'm living with my aunty. I know where it is but I don't" I said feeling stupid.
"How are you going home?" Matt asked.
"I'm walking" I replied.
"Cool me and Gerard walk home maybe we can go with you and find where you live" he said laughing.

Home Time...
Bell rings.
"Thankyou class you may leave" said my music teacher.
Me, Matt and Gerard left the class and started to walk out the school.

"Well I'll see you guys later" I said.
"Umm aren't we walking with you?" Matt asked.
"Ummm you meant that?" I asked.
"Yeah" he replied.
"Well okay may as well,” I said smiling.

We started walking to my house.

"I think we live near you" Matt said with a smile.
"Cool" I said happily it was great knowing someone lived near me.
"Well there’s the park" Gerard said.
"Well I think I might live really close to you guys,” I said "That’s my house,” I pointed to my house.
"That’s mine" Gerard pointed to the house one door down from me.
"And that’s mine" Matt said pointing to the one next to Gerard's.
"Well now I definately know we live close to each other" I said laughing
" well I gotta go check with my mum she’s gonna be talking to me for hours bye".
"Bye" Gerard and Matt said.

I walked over to my house when I was about to open the door I looked over at Matt and Gerard they looked back at me and waved and walked off. I opened the door and went inside.

"Hey Jacquie how was your first day" I heard Jimmy say.
"Great" I replied, "I've got some friends I’m so happy. Umm where’s mum?" I then asked.
"Oh she’s with Kerrie ummm shopping,” he said quickly.
"Your lying" I said smiling "oh well I must do some stuff in my room".
"I wasn't lying,” he said almost instantly after I finished my sentence.

I walked into my room and started drawing. I heard the door open and then I heard crying and then Kerrie saying something and then Jimmy saying that I was home. Then I heard running and then a slam of a door. I hear Jimmy asking what is wrong and then I hear footsteps getting closer to my door until finally the door opens and Kerrie and Jimmy are standing there.

"Umm hi" I say confused.
"Umm Jacquie can you listen to you stereo and tell me about that song umm Raining on the inside?" she asked me.
"Umm sure" I said.

I went to my stereo and pretended to look for a CD. Jimmy and Kerrie closed the door and I heard them walk off. I quickly moved to the door and tried to listen in.

"You know how my sis has been going to court hoping to lock that bastard away?" I heard Kerrie say to Jimmy.
"Yeah" I heard him say.
"Well the judge has called on Jacquie to come in and give her side of the story but my sis doesn't want to bring Jacquie into this. She doesn't want Jacquie to even know that her dad might be in jail for most of his life".

I couldn't help but feel sad and I started to cry. I tried to hold in my sobs until I let out a loud one. Then I heard Kerrie and Jimmy run to my door. Oh god I don't want them to know that I heard. Kerrie opens the door.

"Umm why are you crying?" Kerrie asked in a solemn voice.
"Ummm" I said unable to think of anything. "I...I gotta go think" I said running off with my eyes filled with tears ready to burst. I ran out the house and to that park near my house. I went and sat on the swing.

Why was I feeling sad for this dickhead of a father? I hated him he bashed my mum up he punched me in the face knocking me out plus all the other abuse I suffered from him all my life. He called me a slut, a whore. I felt my heart shattering into a millions of pieces.

Then I heard a voice "Jacquie are you okay?". I looked up it was Gerard with Matt. I tried to say something but everything I said was a slur. Matt looked at Gerard edging him to do something. I looked down at my feet now my eyes where just pouring with tears. Then Gerard hugged me. It was only a light, friendly hug. I didn't care; it comforted me. " Thanks" I said really quietly hugging him back. I let go and so did he. Then I wiped my eyes. "So umm are you gonna tell us what’s up?" Matt said trying to sound sympathetic. I told them to sit down. Then I told them.

20 minutes later...
"Oh umm I’m sorry Jacquie" said Matt.
"Well I better go" I said feeling much better after getting it off my chest " thanks so much guys".

I walked off but stopped on the lawn and waved to them. Matt waved to me and walked down to his place. Gerard came up to me."Are you sure your gonna be okay?" he asked me worried."Yeah" I replied. I gave him a hug. He hugged back. I said goodbye and that I would see him tomorrow at the park in the morning and that we would walk to school tomorrow.

I walked into my house. My mum was sitting on the couch her eyes were red. But at soon as she saw me she smiled.

"So how was school?" she asked.
"It was great I've actually made friends,” I said smiling.
She smiled.
"It's great your making friends” she said happily.
"Oh yeah I'm gonna walk with them to school tomorrow okay?" I said hoping she wasn't going to object to it.
"That’s good,” she said.

I walked to my room knowing I was being followed by Kerrie. I opened the door and went in not closing the door cause she was behind me. She closed the door after entering. I dropped on my bed with a thump. Kerrie sat next to me.

" So you did hear me speaking to Jimmy?" she said to me looking at her feet and then looking at me.
" Yes, well I would like it if I didn't have to snoop around to find out info about my own parents" I said trying to make some sort of reason why I was listening in on their conversation before.
"Well yeah its just your mum doesn't want you to be upset" she said defending my mums actions.
"Well I'm not a little kid anymore, my birthday is in a months time and I will be 14, I think I can look after myself" I replied.Kerrie replied
"Yes but to your mum..."
"Okay I don’t wanna fight with you please just leave me alone" I butted in.

Kerrie got up and left my room opening and then closing the door. I could hear my mum asking Kerrie something.
I could hear exactly what Kerrie said" Yeah she knows but she doesn't wanna talk about it and wants to be left alone''.
"Maybe its better she knows" I hear mum say.
"Well I better start making dinner" Jimmy says.

I hear a couple of footsteps to my room but then I hear Kerrie telling him to just let me be. I go to my bag and pull out my drawing pad. Drawing is the only thing that can calm me down. I decide to draw a girl crying and sitting on a swing. I start drawing.

16 minutes later...
I finish my drawing and I decide to call it: What am I to do? It seemed like the right type of name. It described what I was thinking when it happened to me. There was a knock at the door. I didn't answer I really didn't care.

Jimmy came in with a plate with noodles and some sort of stir-fry.
"I'm sorry Jacquie" he said putting it on the desk making double sure it wasn't on any of my work "Heres so dinner you must be hungry".
"Yeah but stir-fry man you are definately gay aren't you?" I said jokingly.
"What it was the only thing I could think of that had vegies in it for you miss vegetarian" he replied with a laugh.
"I'm not a vegetarian I just like to eat certain vegetables and for your information I don’t like my vegies cooked,” I said smartly.
"Do you wanna come eat it out with us or eat it in here?" he asked me.
"I'll come out with you guys,” I said with a smile trying to make it seem I had forgotten what had happened.
"That’s good,” he said looking at what I had just drawn.

I quickly closed the book and picked up my dinner and walked out with him following. I went into the living room and started eating. Jimmy closed my door then entered to living room and then into the kitchen where he returned with his dinner.

Mum and Kerrie were eating already but mum had stopped as soon as I had entered the room and looked at me. Kerrie nudged her reminding her to eat. Mum then continued to eat and she had stopped staring at me.
Kerrie broke the silence "So when do we get to meet your friends?”
"I dunno when they want to I guess" I said hoping it wouldn't be soon.
"Umm Jacquie" mum said to me.
"Yeah" I said as calm as I could which wasn't that calm.
"I heard that you found out about your father,” she said.
"Yeah" I said trying to sound calm yet it still wasn't calm but very tense.
"Well do you want to tell your side of the story to the court or hope that everything goes well and your dad goes to jail for a while" she asked me.

I was absolutely gob smacked. My mum had just asked me a question that either way means my dad goes to jail. I still loved my dad I would really wish I could see him whenever I want and he wouldn't be violent. I know how he has bashed me and my mum ever since he got his drinking problem which was about when I was 4 and I know that bashing people is a criminal offence but still.

"Can I have some time to think about this please?" I asked.
"Yeah" she replied, "I'm sorry honey".
"I don’t feel very hungry anymore" I said and got up and put my plate in the kitchen and then walked to my room slamming the door behind me as I went in.

That’s it I’m going to sleep I don’t care what the fucken time is I’m sleeping. I went to sleep. (Btw it’s about 7:30pm)